'OK boomer!' The insult of the year is about to become a TV show

If you were born before the mid-1960s, one phrase will strike fear into your heart like no other. That phrase is ‘OK boomer’. For the uninitiated, ‘OK boomer’ has quickly become the defining meme of 2019; an offhanded putdown directed towards any older person with the temerity to tell a younger person how the world works, even though their understanding of how the world works was permanently paused in the late 90s. “You should get on the property ladder in your 20s like I did”. OK boomer. “Why don’t you save your money instead of buying a Pret sandwich every day?” OK boomer.

You get it. And while it’s a terrific meme, you have to hand it to the executives at Fox television for realising that it will be an even better TV show. For Fox, no word of a lie, is attempting to trademark the phrase ‘OK boomer’ for entertainment purposes. Attorney Josh Gerben this week revealed that the network has made a trademark application for the term, claiming it has a ‘bona fide intent’ to launch a TV show of that name, ‘featuring reality competitions, comedy and game shows’.

But take a look at that wording. It’s clear that Fox doesn’t have the first clue what sort of TV show OK Boomer should be. And this is a worry, because TV shows based on internet fads have a habit of not really enjoying all that much longevity. Remember Shit My Dad Says? Of course you don’t. That’s why we need to put some work in. So here are some ideas. One of these will make me rich. Or maybe not. After all, the idea of people watching network TV in the 2020s is a little ‘OK boomer’.

OK boomer: the sitcom

Hapless 62-year-old Jonathan Boomer (Paul Reiser) is forced – for inexplicable reasons – to sell his home and move into a nearby university’s fraternity house. All he wants to do is fit in with his new young housemates (played by Noah Centineo and YouTuber Logan Paul), yet his every attempt is met with a flat response of “OK boomer”. He tries to teach the kids how to cook: “OK boomer”. He tries to set out a financial plan for them: “OK boomer”. He tries to draw upon lessons learned during his own 38-year marriage when the kids have relationship difficulties: “OK boomer”. But gradually everyone starts to realise they aren’t so different after all, and after reaching a happy compromise they learn and laugh and grow and … oh god this is a terrible idea. Nobody make this, please.

OK boomer: the reality show

What I have in mind here is essentially Love Island. A bunch of boomers get to go on an exotic holiday where they’re given everything they could possibly want and get to live their lives without any sort of hardship or jeopardy. It’s basically exactly the sort of regular real holiday boomers would normally go on in real life, except it’s on television so all younger people can watch it with a growing sense of resentment.

OK boomer: the prestige drama

Christopher (Tim Allen) is an outsider. As a straight, white 66-year-old man, he has become a member of one the most persecuted groups on the planet. Forced to retire after his friendly work hugs were misinterpreted as something more sinister, he now operates as a vigilante antihero determined to teach this stupid woke world a terrible lesson. Across eight big-budget series, Christopher vows to retake the world that once belonged to him, no matter how much it embarrasses both his children and grandchildren.

OK boomer: the gameshow

A shiny, Saturday night series where men and women aged between 55 and 70 have to answer quick-fire questions about the bleak realities of life in the 21st century. What’s the best way to juggle two zero-hour delivery jobs? When is the best time to have children if you lack the basic financial stability to afford a home? The OK hand signal: a sign of racial intolerance or a clear demonstration that the world has taken leave of its senses? Every time they answer incorrectly, £500 of their savings is donated to a local donkey sanctuary, to the obvious dismay of their offspring. Yes, I think this is the one. Fox: call me.