Ariana Grande opened up about Mac Miller's death in a 2019 cover story for Vogue.
She described her grief since his accidental overdose as "pretty all-consuming."
Grande and Miller dated for two years before their split in 2018. He died later that year.
"By no means was what we had perfect, but, like, fuck. He was the best person ever, and he didn't deserve the demons he had," she told the magazine. "I was the glue for such a long time, and I found myself becoming... less and less sticky. The pieces just started to float away."
The "Sweetener" singer and the "Swimming" rapper began dating in 2016 after years of friendship and collaboration. They announced their split in May 2018 and, four months later, Miller died of an accidental drug overdose.
In the Vogue profile, Grande described her grief since Miller's death as "pretty all-consuming." The 26-year-old rapper had openly struggled with addiction throughout his life in the public eye, but, by all accounts, seemed healthy and happy in his final days.
Some of Miller's fans blamed Grande when he relapsed after they broke up. She also received an onslaught of hateful comments when he died.
"People don't see any of the real stuff that happens, so they are loud about what they think happened. They didn't see the years of work and fighting and trying, or the love and exhaustion," Grande said, reflecting on her response to a Twitter user who blamed her for Miller's DUI in May 2018.
—Ariana Grande (@ArianaGrande) May 23, 2018
"That tweet came from a place of complete defeat, and you have no idea how many times I warned him that that would happen and fought that fight, for how many years of our friendship, of our relationship," she continued. "You have no idea so you're not allowed to pull that card, because you don't fucking know."
Vogue's Rob Haskell wrote that he spoke with many of Grande's close friends, who said she spent many hours during her 2017 tour "desperately tracking [Miller's] whereabouts to ensure he wasn't on a bender."
Haskell also wrote that Grande began to cry nine minutes after the interview began, when he asked her about her 2019 headlining slot at Coachella.
Grande said the music festival reminds her of Miller, because the first two times she attended was to see him perform.
"It was just kind of a mindfuck, processing how much has happened in such a brief period," she said.
Grande wrote and recorded her No. 1 album "Thank U, Next" in a feverish state after Miller's death in September. She told Vogue that she barely remembers it because she was "so drunk" and "so sad."
Editor's Note: This article was originally published in 2019.
Read the original article on Insider