Battle of the Bagpipes, review: Sky Arts’ amiable series has plenty of puff

Settle down to Battle of the Bagpipes (Sky Arts) and enjoy Scotland’s most mellifluous sound. No, not the music, but the voice of actor Bill Paterson providing the narration for this series which follows civilian and military pipe bands as they each compete for glory.

Bagpipes are not universally loved. In one of those quotes that makes the rounds online without anyone being quite sure where it originated, Alfred Hitchcock supposedly said: “I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equalled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig.” Perhaps Hitchcock had encountered a particularly bad busker.

Bagpipes can sound beautiful when played well – think of Queen Elizabeth II’s piper performing Sleep, Dearie, Sleep at her funeral. I think the late Queen would have enjoyed Battle of the Bagpipes. It combines the stories of pipe bands from Scotland, Northern Ireland and the Armed Forces with a history of the instrument, which has been a favourite of the royals since the days of Queen Victoria.

As documentaries go, it is a very traditional documentary, which picks out some individual stories – a soldier who can play the pipes but can’t master the Highland dancing; an American teenager who has come all the way from California to join the Inveraray & District Pipe Band – but resists any temptation to make this all about the personalities. Instead, it emphasises the effort that goes into reaching the top level of competition, with pipe majors who give it everything.

Some are hard taskmasters, others take a more relaxed approach. There are also plenty of youngsters involved, with the cameras following one school band. Most of the youngsters are following a family tradition, but one 15-year-old picks up tips from YouTube. And we learn that a love of the bagpipes extends across the world.

The Sultan of Oman was so taken by the sound that he ordered all of his regiments to have pipe bands. This was a problem for the mounted regiment on camels, because the sway of the animals meant that the blowpipe was literally knocking the riders’ teeth out.

McCallum Bagpipes of Kilmarnock duly invented a flexible blowpipe to circumvent this problem. “We call it the ‘camel-friendly blowpipe’,” explained the McCallum boss. “We sent it to them and they absolutely adored it – especially the guys that were losing their teeth.”