How Bert and Ernie could be role models for all the gay puppets

Like Piers Morgan – and I don’t enjoy agreeing with him – I assumed Bert and Ernie had come out many years ago. But following Mark Salzman’s claim that he wrote Bert and Ernie as gay, Sesame Street workshop issued a swift joykill of a statement, denying this was the case and thrusting the loving muppets firmly to the back of the closet. Morgan, like many on social media, lambasted the unnecessary denial.

I’m with a lot of Twitter users: if Miss Piggy is allowed to lust after her frog lover (won’t someone think of the pigspawn?), Bert and Ernie should be allowed to march in the Puppet Pride parade.

To go Serious Sally for a minute, Sesame Street’s panicked response hints at something unpleasant. As soon as the Venn circles of sexuality and youth culture overlap, there’s an outcry. Why? The only reason we would need to shield Bert and Ernie’s love from children was if there was something wrong with that type of relationship. Which there isn’t. Obviously. Even Piers Morgan seems to agree.

There’s precedent. Increasingly, we are seeing LGBTQ characters appear in the animated realm. Steven Universe prominently features a queer couple: non-binary Ruby and Sapphire, while Rick and Morty creator Justin Roiland describes Rick as “pansexual’. When Jem and the Holograms was revived in 2015, Stormer and Kimber were both gay.

With Salzman also suggesting Mr Snuffleupagus could be same-sex oriented, perhaps it is really important for Bert and Ernie to lead the way for other fictional TV characters to proudly come out.

James Gunn, who directed the live-action Scooby Doo film, suggested that Velma Dinkley might be more curious about Daphne than she is about supernatural mysteries. The original script, he said, made this plain, only to be later cut.

Dinkley’s’ haircut twin, Buttercup of the Powerpuff Girls, certainly rejects traditional gender norms. Maybe they are non-binary? As long as they are happy, does it matter?

Elsewhere, there’s Ren and Stimpy who already cohabit and would make a lovely, if slightly dysfunctional, couple. Gay fave Spongebob Squarepants always seemed to have a lot more affection for Patrick than he did that weird underwater squirrel. Embrace your feelings, Bob!

And if you want to go less ambiguous, see literally any man from He-Man, including Bow from She-Ra: the steroids, the moustaches, the fur hotpants, the harnesses: it’s basically a night out at a leather bar.

And finally, my all-time favourite gay puppet: the little blue worm from Labyrinth. Sure, he invites Sarah inside to “meet the missus” but with his bunches and keen eye for accessories, I’ve long held the belief that this is just his affectionate term for Daniel, his life partner.