Best Christmas present of all? LadBaby won’t be releasing a festive song this year

LadBaby have confirmed they won’t be releasing a Christmas single this year, prompting a nationwide sigh of relief.

The internet stars – Mark and Roxanne Hoyle – have subjected the nation to their sausage roll fuelled reign of terror since 2018, having stacked up a record-breaking streak of five consecutive Christmas Number Ones.

The pair, known for shamelessly segueing the word ‘Sausage Roll’ into their own covers of songs such as Joan Jett’s ‘I Love Rock n Roll’, say they’re instead hoping to past the baton to a new contender this year.

New hopefuls include, bizarrely, a festive effort from a cat known for frequenting Stevenage Station and delighting commuters. One might question the vocal abilities of the wailing feline, but we’d put decent money on it being more palatable than that of The Hoyles.

“We never expected it to be five, I’ll be totally honest. It’s one of those things that just happened over the years and we thought it was amazing that the public got behind us in the way that they did,” Hoyle told Metro.

“Five years ago when we started this, we knew the importance of food banks in this country and we wanted to raise funds and awareness for that so we did that one [song], that was lovely.”

In fairness, the pair have raised a fair bit of money for food bank charity The Trussell Trust through their singles every year. But also in fairness, Mark Hoyle told the Guardian in 2019 that the Conservative administration would do a “great job”, a mere week after food banks reported a huge surge in donations.

As The Independent reports, figures at the time showed that the estimated number of people dying homeless had increased by a staggering 51 per cent between 2013 and 2018, while food bank use had risen by 23 per cent in the last year.

It’s also worth noting that Mark Hoyle declined to tell the Guardian who he had voted for in the 2019 election, instead insisting that ” we didn’t want to involve politics at all, we wanted to focus on the people who can’t eat”. Right.

Worry not though, LadBaby devotees in our midst. You may have been stripped of your single, but take comfort in knowing that there’s a LadBaby Christmas Dinner Pie – their own collaboration with Pukka Pies – as well as a live Christmas show, a Christmas book (along with in-store signings), and a collection of children’s toys retailing between £14 to £20 each. All of which will make lovely Christmas presents, we’re sure. It’s that, or a lump of coal. We’ll take the latter.