‘Castle’ Series Finale Tweet-cap: Take That, LokSat!

Warning: This recap for the “Crossfire” episode of Castle contains spoilers.

Case closed! Castle is done its eight-season run, and it’s no surprise that the popular police procedural went out in a way that was dictated by Thursday’s last minute ABC axing. You didn’t have to be a detective to figure out that the writers’ alternate ending was used, as evidenced by the closure of every major storyline during Castle’s final hour. Loose ends, be damned!

After last month’s bombshell news that Stana Kanic wouldn’t be returning to the long-running crime drama, Castle fans threatened backlash. But ABC cut the show instead, so as a parting gift, showrunners Alexi Hawley and Terence Paul Winter gave everyone a (sort of) happy ending instead of a straight-up Beckett death scene. No cliffhangers here, but plenty of closure.

Ever since it was revealed that Katic was leaving the show, fans expected her Kate Beckett character to be killed off. What they didn’t expect was this:

Yes, your Favorite Brady Bunch tune is forever ruined, because it’s now the soundtrack to a psycho’s storyline.

The Castle finale jumped right back into that maddening LokSat storyline that has plagued these crime solvers all season. After LokSat’s right-hand man burns someone alive in a car, Castle (Nathan Fillion) and Beckett get a call about a money drop from LokSat insider/lawyer Caleb Brown (Kris Polaha).

Vikram (Sunkrish Bala) says once this LokSat case is solved, he’s retiring so he can go back to having a boring life. But for now, he determines the call is actually from a bunker in the Arctic Circle. Castle and Beckett are already stalking the meet-up site when they get more bad news: Caleb Brown was actually the guy burned alive in the car, and they’ve been set up.

Cue up the epic gun battle. But just when Castle and Beckett run out of ammo, a miracle happens. Yes, one week after Castle made a deal with the devil in that terrifying Antichrist episode, he and his wife have a guardian angel: Castle’s long-lost friend Mason Wood (Gerald McRaney). Beckett is suspicious for a second (can’t trust anyone these days), but Castle reminds her Mason’s a good guy. Plus, he shows up in a Korean BBQ taco truck, so you do the math.

Making sure that family (read: Martha and Castle’s daughter, Alexis) is safe is key, so Castle’s first order of business is to get them safely tucked in lockdown because they know too much about the whole LokSat mess. Meanwhile, Beckett holds court at the precinct where she’s safe with “her cops” at “her station,” but Castle feels guilty because he promised her they’d take down LokSat together. He asks Hayley (Toks Olagundoye) to keep an eye on his girls and then he runs off to hail a cab from Mr. Sunshine Day.

Before you know it, our beloved mystery writer is out cold in a lab where LokSat’s sidekick (Jed Rees) finally identifies himself as “Mr. Flynn.” He injects Castle with a truth serum and demands to know the name of every single person who knows anything about LokSat.

Once he gets his info, Flynn informs Castle it really is the end of his days. As opposed to last week, when Castle was just imagining it.

“Everything ends in tragedy — even an epic love story like yours,” Flynn says in the creepiest voice ever.

And then Mr. Flynn is joined by LokSat in the flesh. And whaddya know, Mason Woods is LokSat. Why is Beckett always so smart?

The police squad makes short work of Mr. Flynn soon enough, but by then Mason is on his way to pick up Beckett and take her to the CIA facility to toss her into a furnace. Fortunately, Beckett’s instincts kick in, and after a wild magnetic/plastic gunfire exchange, Castle bursts in and saves the day. LokSat is done and Castle and Beckett are exhausted.

They celebrate the demise of the drug and money laundering operation back at the PI office, where Vikram decides maybe he won’t retire after all. “Boring is overrated,” he says. Castle is reunited with his mom and daughter (Susan Sullivan, Molly Quinn), while Rysposito (Seamus Dever, Jon Huertas) and Lainie (Tamala Jones) are ready to toast the end of LokSat even if it’s only 7:30 in the morning.

But there are still a few minutes of the last Castle episode ever left, and Castle’s wheels are still turning even after he and Beckett get home. Here’s what he doesn’t understand: If Mason had an incinerator in his basement, why didn’t he just dispose of Caleb’s body there?

Castle’s thoughts are interrupted by a shooter — crap, it’s Caleb! — and he falls to the floor. Beckett and the gunman exchange fire and she gets shot, too. It’s not looking good for the lovebirds as they crawl over to one another to hold hands and prepare to die together. Talk about a sad ending! And since the show has been canceled, we believe it’s true.

BUT…

Fast forward seven years and there’s Caskett babies and a very much alive mystery writer who seems to have found his happy ending with his wife. Thank you, writers!

RIP Castle. Not the guy, but the show.