Why do the French hate us?

This week France was threatened with losing its AAA rating and responded by stating that Britain should lose its first.
Earlier in the week President Sarkozy had branded David Cameron and 'obstinate kid' and not because he refuses to use the toilet when he should (apparently desperately needing to urinate was a concentration aid during the EU negotiations last week. Imagine what he's holding in during really important negotiations.) Sarko was narko because of the veto Cameron deployed to avoid financial rules the rest of Europe was agreeing to. Whatever! Really it's just the latest in a history of battles with our frenemies across the channel.

A YouGov poll last year asked over 4,000 British and French people to identify common traits in the opposite nation. The British were fairly complimentary just marking the French down because they don't get anything done in August. On the other hand the French said we were no use at cooking or love and eat and drink too much, with a number of respondents identify a typical British man as an old pensioner who eats processed cheese.

[Related story: France fires economic broadside at Britain]

They simply can't stop themselves bringing cheese into it and when will they realise England (obviously not Scotland where a battered pizza passes for food) is the gastronomic capital of the world, with all sorts of culinary innovation unheard of in the stuffy kitchens of Paris. Seems like it's pretty easy to slip into an anti-French rant, especially as they're one of the countries you're still allowed to be xenophobic about, like Australia, but unlike with the Aussies it's not harmless banter.

Symbols of our contempt for France litter the land; until recently French visitors to the capital would be deposited in Waterloo, the scene of the final defeat of Napoleon by Wellington's forces, then it's a short trip to Nelson's Column, thrusting forth from Trafalgar Square to remind Gallic tourists how we sank them at Sea too. When we visit their stunning capital we think them rude, although most of us haven't a clue what they're going on about because we didn't bother learning their language. Which is, of course, another reason they may hate us. Because despite a handful of African countries, Quebec, and the language of International Post (bet they're glad they fought to keep Par Avion now letter writing has got so popular) most of the world went with English.

Once we were thrust together as Allies against the 20th century German (and later Soviet) foe we still didn't get on much better. Clementine Churchill pleaded with the Free French leader Charles de Gaulle: "General, you must not hate your friends more than you hate your enemies." Our respect for our French friends can be summed up by jokes like: 'How many soldiers does it take to defend Paris? No one knows because it's never been tried.' Renee from 'Allo 'Allo was a relatively sympathetic character compared with Groundskeeper Willie's classic characterisation of the French as "cheese eating surrender monkeys" in an episode of 'The Simpsons'.

Perhaps the British people surveyed last year were kinder to the French because we feel generous in victory and perhaps the French don't like us now because we saved their sorry asses in the war (or rather we helped the Americans do it) and took the Olympics off them just a few years back. Or perhaps they're tired of our reluctance to fully engage with the European project, after all Britain was out voted 26 to one last week. That said it was our reluctant ally de Gaulle who originally blocked our entry to the EEC (the predecessor of the EU) in 1963, making us feel about as welcome as a slice of Dairylea in a fromagerie.