You could almost feel sorry for Douglas Ross - almost - as yesterday's man sidelined at FMQs

I struggle to listen to Douglas Ross these days, because when I look at his increasingly defeated face, all I hear is a ticking clock.

Counting down to July 4, and his self-inflicted exile from leadership of the Scottish Tory party.

You could almost feel sorry for him - until you remember the harm he and his party have caused.

And the fact Ross is only in this position because he has all the political nous of a Poundland Rishi Sunak and thought he could knife a colleague in the back without consequence.

Instead, he angered his party so much they leaked his dodgy expenses and made him resign. Objectively, still funny.

So there he was today, at his third-to-last First Minister’s Questions as Tory leader (who’s counting?) - and naturally, he tried to take a business-as-usual approach, challenging John Swinney on the NHS.

The irony was his party had unearthed shock findings on A&E waits faced by centenarians - but with Ross’ limp delivery, the SNP chief barely broke a sweat.

Swinney didn’t even bother twisting the knife by bringing up Three Jobs Ross’ campaign-killing, leadership-ending antics. It was the surreal elephant in the room.

Whether pity, complete indifference, or the First Minister’s gentlemanly streak stayed his hand was unclear.

You fancy Nicola Sturgeon or even Humza Yousaf would have been sure to go for their Tory rival’s exposed jugular.

But perhaps this represents how far Ross has fallen: from Scotland’s main opposition leader, to the guy shouting at you in the pub who your pals tell you “isnae even worth it”. To yesterday's man.

Yet when Scottish Labour leader Anas Sarwar rose to grill Swinney on the same topic, suddenly, out came some fire and passion from both men.

A furious Sarwar said Swinney had his “head in the sand” on figures showing Scots cancer patients have been forced to go private, digging into their own pockets for more than 1,000 rounds of chemo.

Swinney hit back that the rate of patients turning private was worse in Labour-run Wales - and boomed somewhat threateningly at Sarwar’s deputy: “It’s not a good idea to heckle me when I’m mid-flow, Jackie Baillie.”

He got into his flow for Labour - but offered barely a drip-drip to the Tories.

All this confirmed Ross’ status as the weird boy at the back of the class no one wants to talk to.

They still have to sometimes, because for now at least, he remains one of the house captains.

But by the end of the school term, he’ll be gone.

What glorious summer holidays they’ll have, knowing that when they get back, they won’t have to deal with that mean little man anymore. Tick-tock.

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