My dad died under lockdown in Barnard Castle. I find Dominic Cummings’ visit repellent

My dad who was 93 had been living in a care home for a few months in Barnard Castle, County Durham. On 23 March, without forewarning, a lockdown was imposed – visits from friends, family, the parish priest and even local GPs stopped. My dad found this disorientating and distressing. As he put it to one of the carers: “I don’t understand why Helen can’t come and see me: she only lives 200 yards away.”

So to learn that Dominic Cummings was in Barnard Castle, 260 miles from his home in London, at a time when the government was discouraging tourism, is sickening.

My dad wasn’t tested for coronavirus and I’m sure loneliness and isolation contributed to his death on 24 April. We tried Zoom calls, but he couldn’t hear properly and the picture on a mobile phone was too small for him to recognise the other person. This was really hard for all of us but most of all, of course, for him. He hated loneliness and he was alone when he died five weeks after our last visit. Nothing can ever change that reality.

The prime minister’s defence of Cummings adds insult to injury for the relatives of those who have died from Covid-19 and other causes during lockdown, who are unable to grieve for their relatives properly as funeral attendances are restricted.

In his press conference, Cummings said he went to a cottage on his parents’ farm to have childcare available should he and his wife become so ill that they were unable to look after their four-year-old. He said his trip to Barnard Castle was to test his eyesight before driving to London. However, this is offensive to people observing the rules while they struggle to cope with their own families complex needs. I know one woman, a single parent of two children, one of whom is autistic, who has to isolate because she has a rare and complex health problem. It’s hard but she’s doing it.

In the face of the pandemic, my local community has risen to the challenge. Networks of local support have sprung up and expanded, with people shopping and collecting medicines for others. Our seven local food banks have been operating way above their usual level in response to rising demand – Bishop Auckland recorded a 50% increase in the number of out-of-work benefits claimants between March and April. An initiative, Cuppas for Carers, in which volunteers take tea and biscuits round to people who work in care homes, has garnered lots of support.

Related: Boris Johnson faces renewed Tory pressure to sack Dominic Cummings

But we are not without fear. Up to now the small towns of County Durham have been abiding by the lockdown, yet 476 have died of the virus as of 19 May, according to Durham county council. In rural Teesdale people have been particularly worried about what will happen to the rate of infection and the number of deaths should they see an influx of tourists to all the local beauty spots. To visit the north-east, ignore the rules and put other people’s health at risk displays an arrogance that people find both repellent and alarming. Were our sacrifices for nothing?

In the last couple of days I’ve had messages and emails from people in great distress. Here is one woman whose parents live in County Durham:

A well of grief has built up among the family and friends of the 62,000 people who have died in this pandemic. If the prime minister thinks people will forgive and forget, he is sorely mistaken. People have been holding it in as they struggle to get through each day. This episode has burst the dam and a huge wave is now flooding out.

• Helen Goodman was the Labour MP for Bishop Auckland from 2005 to 2019