Deborah James says she’s scared of dying and has created memory boxes for her kids

·1-min read
Deborah James says she’s scared of dying and has created memory boxes for her kids

Deborah James has detailed her fear of dying and of not seeing her beloved children grow up in her heartbreaking final column.

The BBC podcast host, 40, has had stage 4 bowel cancer since December 2016 and she had initially not been expected to see her milestone birthday.

She defied the odds, however, and she has been sharing her inspiring journey over the years using the moniker @bowelbabe.

Deborah James aka the Bowel Babe

Now in her final column for The Sun, the former school headmistress – who shares Hugo, 14, and Eloise, 12, with husband Seb – has addressed the sadly now inevitable – leaving her family behind.

She said: “I do not want to die – I can’t get my head around the idea that I will not see my kids’ weddings or see them grow up – that I will no longer be a part of life that I love so much.

“I am not brave – I am not dignified going towards my death – I am simply a scared girl who is doing something she has no choice in but I know I am grateful for the life that I have had.”

James revealed she has created her special memory boxes with her partner for their children.

The mum has also “bought them gifts for certain key future birthdays”.

Her latest heartbreaking revelation comes after she confirmed her active care has stopped and she doesn’t know how much longer she has left to live.

In that same social media post she set up a Just Giving page to raise money for lifesaving cancer research and to support campaigns to raise awareness of bowel cancer.

In less than 24 hours, it has raised £1.5m.

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