Drake Bell Reveals His 2005 Song 'In the End' Was About Sexual Abuse He Suffered from Ex-Acting Coach
The singer/actor recently came forward to reveal he was the victim of sexual abuse while working as a child actor on Nickelodeon
Drake Bell is opening up about how he turned his pain into music, years before he publicly came forward as a survivor of sexual assault.
After the singer/actor, 37, revealed for the first time that he had been sexually abused by his former acting coach Brian Peck while working as a child actor on Nickelodeon, Bell has shared that some of his music was written as a means to cope.
In a TikTok posted on Saturday, he revealed that his song "In the End," off his 2005 debut album Telegraph, was "about what had happened."
The clip the Drake and Josh alum posted featured footage of himself listening to the first several verses of the song and a caption that said, "Wrote this song when I was 15 about what happened before I said anything to anyone."
The audio that plays includes the lines, "Wake up / It's time to get your things together and drive away / Breathe out, future days will treat you better / That's what they say / Another day gone without a say / But it's OK if you turn [around]."
Related: Everything Nickelodeon Stars Have Said About the Alleged 'Toxic Environment' on Set
"In the End" was co-written by Bell and Michael Corcoran, who he co-produced his debut alongside. (Corcoran is known for composing music for television, including a number of Nickelodeon series like Drake and Josh, iCarly and Victorious, among others, per IMDb.)
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The pop-rock song begins as a ballad, but later evokes an uplifting tone. Throughout the track, the "I Found a Way" singer repeats the chorus: "And in the end, are you stronger? (Are you stronger?) / Do you no longer need to recover? / And where have you been since it's been over? (Since it's been over) / Over my shoulder, under my skin, will you ever return again?"
He also sings the compelling verses: "Wake up / The monsters in your head have left you / All to yourself, it's alright / If ugly little things remind you of how it felt / Another day, no one tells you what it means / What's in your way and poisonin' your dreams / The darkest place that you've ever been."
The former child star revisited the 2005 song since opening up about the abuse he endured from dialogue coach Brian Peck over a six-month period when he was 15. He first spoke candidly about being assaulted, and Peck's eventual conviction in 2004, in Investigation Discovery's new docuseries Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV, which premiered on March 17.
Shortly after a trailer for Quiet on Set was released and revealed that Bell was coming forward about his experience in the four-part series, he also released a single about facing his trauma.
Titled "I Kind of Relate," the singer-songwriter shared the emotional song along with a music video in which he appears on a TV sound stage that resembles the set of Drake and Josh. "I kind of relate / I found beauty in my pain / I’m running away / From the abuse and all the shame," he sings on the new single.
In the caption for the music video on YouTube, the musician wrote, "This song was inspired by my past and now that my story is being told I felt the time was right to share it."
On a recent episode of the The Sarah Fraser Show podcast, Bell explained why he felt ready to tell his story in Quiet on Set. Since one of the project's directors, Emma Schwartz, made him feel "really comfortable," he ended up speaking about how entering himself into rehab forced him to reckon with things he "hadn’t faced head on" in the past.
"Once I got out, I thought to myself, 'You know, maybe this is a good time to reach out to them, and say I’m not 100% yet, let's talk some more but I’m getting closer to feeling comfortable with finally sharing my story,'" he said. "Even though I was battling with, ‘Oh my gosh, what am I doing telling my story? Should I be doing this?’ [But I was getting this feeling of] ‘Wow it's all out there now. I can get it off my chest.’"
In 2004, in connection with Bell's case, Peck pleaded no contest to a charge of oral copulation with a minor under 16 as well as a charge of performing a lewd act with a teenager. The Amanda Show alum's identity as the victim was not made public at the time, due to him being a minor. Following his conviction, Peck spent 16 months in prison and was mandated to register as a sex offender.
If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual abuse, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.
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