Yahoo News Duchess of Cambridge admits she suffers lack of confidence over pressure of being 'perfect parent'
The Duchess of Cambridge has spoken of the "pressure of being a perfect parent", as she admits experiencing "lack of confidence and feelings of ignorance" after becoming a mother.
The Duchess, the mother of Prince George and Princess Charlotte, said even she, with all the benefits of having help at home, had found parenthood a "huge challenge".
Launching a project about mental health in early parenthood, she said: "Nothing can really prepare you for you the sheer overwhelming experience of what it means to become a mother."
The Duchess was speaking at the Royal College for Obstetricians and Gynaecologist, London, at a reception for Best Beginnings' Out of the Blue series, a programme of educational films promoting mental health for parents and their infants.
"Personally, becoming a mother has been such a rewarding and wonderful experience," she said.
For many mothers, myself included, this can, at times lead to lack of confidence and feelings of ignorance
The Duchess of Cambridge
"However, at times it has also been a huge challenge - even for me who has support at home that most mothers do not.
"Nothing can really prepare you for you the sheer overwhelming experience of what it means to become a mother.
"It is full of complex emotions of joy, exhaustion, love, and worry, all mixed together. Your fundamental identity changes overnight.
"You go from thinking of yourself as primarily an individual, to suddenly being a mother, first and foremost. And yet there is no rule book, no right or wrong - you just have to make it up and do the very best you can to care for your family.
"For many mothers, myself included, this can, at times lead to lack of confidence and feelings of ignorance."
The Best Beginnings project works in conjunction with Heads Together, the mental health charity supported by the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Prince Harry.
Speaking of the two in ten woman who experience mental health issues during of after pregnancy, the Duchess said: "Many of these women also suffer in silence, overwhelmed by negative feelings, but also afraid to admit to the struggles they are facing due to the fear or shame of what others might think if they “aren’t coping”.
"Some of this fear is about the pressure to be a perfect parent; pretending we're all coping perfectly and loving every minute of it.
"It's right to talk about motherhood as a wonderful thing, but we also need to talk about its stresses and strains.
"It’s ok not to find it easy. Asking for help should not be seen as a sign of weakness."
In a conference hosted by broadcaster Kate Silverton, audience members including the Duchess heard from parents who have endured mental health issues.
Some have contributed to a series of Out of the Blue videos, showcasing the reality of parenting in the hopes of making new mothers and fathers realise they are not alone.
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The Duchess said: "If any of us caught a fever during pregnancy, we would seek advice and support from a doctor.
"Getting help with our mental health is no different – our children need us to look after ourselves and get the support we need.
"Conversations are crucial for mental wellbeing and they should be part of everyday family life. Talking about a problem with a friend or another trusted person can be the beginning of getting better.
"This week, as we look forward to Mother’s Day, I would love to see everyone celebrate and value the fundamental importance that mothers play in family life."
