Heartbroken mum believes son died in online dare gone wrong

A law which would allow parents to have access to their children’s social media is one step closer after a heartbroken mum started a petition following her 14-year-old son's mystery death.

In just six days, over 115,000 have signed Ellen Roome's campaign. Ellen believes her son Jools believes he died in an online dare that went wrong, as he was “into every single challenge possible”.

Despite her pleas, all social media firms, including TikTok and Snapchat, have refused her access to find out from his data.

Ellen said: “I know I’m far from alone and there’ll be many, many more parents like me if this doesn’t change.

"If a child died of an illness, you’d conduct a thorough postmortem but with cases like Jools’ we’re prevented from knowing what happened because these companies decide not to help. Jools certainly showed no signs of depression so there has to be an answer to why my baby is gone.”

At the inquest, the coroner said he did not believe the normally cheerful lad intended to take his own life when he was found unconscious in his room in Cheltenham, Gloucs, reports the Mirror.

Prompted by the coroner’s verdict, Ellen’s petition demands that parents have the right to access their children’s social media “both when the child is alive and if they are deceased”.

Ellen, a financial adviser, used social media to boost her campaign by posting a personal video message which enabled her to get the 100,000 signatures necessary for her petition to be debated in Parliament. The final tally was 126,000 before the May cut-off date and it means MPs should be on the case after the election.

Her crusade is backed by the Bereaved Families for Online Safety group, whose members blame social media for playing a big part in their children’s deaths. Ellen joined the parents of 11 other tragic children to discuss online safety with government and Ofcom representatives last month.

The group was set up by Ian Russell, whose daughter Molly, 14, from Harrow, North London, ended her life in 2017 after viewing harmful content online. Ian, who wants a windfall tax on tech giants that “monetise misery”, said: “It’s time for a reset of the relationship between tech companies and children.”

Other members include the parents of Archie Battersbee, who died of a brain injury aged 12 when a “prank or experiment went wrong” at his home in Southend-on-Sea, Essex. Mum Hollie said: “Archie died six days before Jools. I still have no answers as to why he did what he did.

"It was a normal day, he was a happy child with so many dreams and goals. All I know is he watched seven minutes of TikTok an hour-and-a-half before he died. Privacy for children is important but when it comes to safeguarding, parents should be able to override that. I don’t understand how they can drag up every part of Archie’s education from five years old, his health records to 2015, but for social media there’s nothing.”

Another lad who loved challenges was Christoforos Nicolaou, 15, who joined an online forum to do them. But parents George and Areti say they became more extreme and threatening, and he was found dead in Cheshunt, Herts, in 2022.

George said: “In the same month we lost Christopher, four other lives were lost the same way. Online platforms like eBay monitor for content, like sharing email addresses and phone numbers, as they don’t want to lose business. For TikTok and Snapchat to pretend they can’t provide that
information after we’ve been robbed of our child is outrageous.”

George, who set up online safety charity CCF World, added: “Nobody’s looking after our children online, which is why Ellen’s petition and our group’s message is so important.”

His anger at tech giants was echoed by Lorin LaFave. Her son Breck Bednar, 14, was groomed by an older teen he met gaming, who lured him to his flat in Grays, Essex, in 2014 and stabbed him to death. She said: “Nobody’s making these companies change and they love the position they’re in, making massive profits while pretending they have robust age verification and other safeguarding. It’s like the Wild West online, with nobody looking after those who are most vulnerable.

“These companies have sophisticated and aggressive algorithms to engage our children, so for them to say they don’t have the AI to pinpoint if kids are being groomed or bullied is complete rubbish.” Mariano Janin also told of his agony at living without daughter Mia, 14, who took her own life in March 2021 after being bullied online.

Mariano, of Kenton, North London, who lost wife Marisa four months later, said: “It’s almost impossible to describe the pain caused by the death of a child. I will never stop fighting, so no other parent has to go through what I have.” Also in the group is Esther Ghey, whose daughter Brianna, 16, was stabbed to death in Warrington, Cheshire, in February last year after being sent a series of “dehumanising” messages on Snapchat and WhatsApp by her killers.

She said: “The work Ellen is doing to allow parents to access social media data after a tragedy is vital.” The families spoke as Ofcom data shows nearly a quarter of five to seven-year-olds have a smartphone and two in five use WhatsApp, despite its minimum age of 13.

More than half of under-13s go on social media and many admit to lying to get new apps and services. The Online Safety Bill, law since April, lets coroners use regulator Ofcom to access social media and gaming data after a child takes their own life. But it only applies to cases ruled to be suicide, not where they might have been killed by someone they met online – and it does not allow parents to access data.

Requests for information are also often too late as tech companies only retain browsing data for 90 days. Snapchat has told Ellen it will not give further information unless required to by a court. TikTok also requires a court order and Instagram told her on June 6 it would get back to her “with haste” but has yet to do so.

Labour says it will give coroners more powers to access data. And Justice Secretary Alex Chalk said he has written to the Attorney General to ask her to apply for a fresh inquest into Jools’ death, so his parents can “get the answers they are entitled to”.

Ofcom said: “Protecting children is our priority and we’re moving quickly so we can enforce the Online Safety Act.” But Ellen added: “If one of the social media CEOs lost a child the way I lost Jools, they’d change everything. These parents and I are doing everything we can to turn pain into purpose, to change the current situation to find the answers we deserve, and to save lives.”

We contacted the social media platforms concerned for a right of reply. A spokesperson for TikTok told us there are routes for information to be obtained from online platforms as part of police or coroner probes.

They added TikTok does not allow videos showing or promoting dangerous activity or challenges and proactively removes 99% of content that breaks rules before it is reported. And they said TikTok has tools to let parents link accounts to those of their teens, enabling a number of content and privacy settings, and makes it clear users must be aged 13.

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