'Like a horror film' for grieving Leeds family after mum's funeral

A grieving Leeds family have claimed their mum's funeral was a shambles from start to finish - and even claim the coffin lid began to open during the "horrific" ceremony.

Arlene Paul, from Little London, has criticised the service her family received from Gooding Funeral Services for the funeral of her mum, Edith Elvira Paul, who died aged 84. On December 15, 2023, Arlene's brother met with Gooding Funeral Services to discuss their mum's funeral, and were initially told they had to pay £3,000 up front to organise everything.

The family did so, and soon met with the funeral home again a few days later. They say no information had been passed on to the church or been recorded by the home and so the family had to go back over the details, delaying the progress of the funeral and picking up Edith's body, the family have claimed. Sadly, things proceeded to get worse.

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Arlene said: "When my brother and sisters went up to go and see my mother in the chapel of rest, when they went in my mum wasn't even dressed. She had water running down her nose and her ears and she wasn't even presented."

The family claimed they had not been informed of this before and had been allowed to walk in. Arlene added: "Obviously, my sister was just horrified, my mum wasn't even dressed or embalmed or anything and he [the funeral director] hadn't even warned them.

"Then, when my brother went to see him, he said 'you're supposed to wait until they're in a coffin and have embalmed them'. So he said 'well, why did you let us go into the room when you knew that my mum wasn't embalmed?' The next time they came, the same thing happened, so there was no adjustments done."

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On the day of the funeral, the car which was being used to move Edith's body broke down in the street and things got even worse a few hours later, Arlene explained. She said: "Then, going up to the funeral, the coffin was opening while my mum was going to be laid to rest.

"We said 'the coffin is opening' and the man came and adjusted it, but the horror of all the people that were there, was absolutely terrible. It was like living a horror film." She added: "Then he's saying to us, 'we wish you the best' - have you ever seen a coffin opening up before you as your mum's being laid to rest?"

Arlene says the funeral home said they would give them money back for the car, but she says this does not make up for the way they treated her mum. One of the worst parts was the delayed embalming, which meant the family, who planned to have an open coffin for mourners, had to change this plan because of how their mum's appearance had changed.

Arlene said: "They took our £3,000, and you were more concerned about that than dignity of our mother."

What does the funeral home say?

Gooding Funeral Services said they believed they had resolved the matter with the family in February and said: "As an independent family-run funeral service, with close ties to our community, our reputation is critical to us.

"Our business is run to the highest professional standards, as reflected in our 5/5 rating on the Funeral Guide, numerous positive reviews on Google and our online testimonials. We are members of the National Association of Funeral Directors and we are recommended by both the Good Funeral Guide and the Natural Death Centre.

"When we fall below the high standards we set ourselves, we are proactive and swift in resolving the situation in a way that is satisfactory to our client.

"We continue to offer our deep and sincerest condolences to the family in this case. The loss of a parent is always difficult and our thoughts remain with them at this time."

They also disputed elements of the family's story, saying the coffin did not begin to open. They said: "As an independent family-run, established funeral service, with close ties to our community, we take pride in our business being run to the highest professional standards. When we fall below the high standards we set ourselves, we are proactive and swift in resolving the situation in a way that is satisfactory to our client. However, in this instance, the information reported in the article is untrue and we feel it is important to clarify the facts.

"At no time during this or indeed any other funeral we have conducted did the coffin lid “begin to open”. The officiating minister for the service at St Martin confirms that he did not witness this take place either. To ensure there are never any issues in this respect, it is our standard policy to check all coffins at various stages of the final journey to ensure they are secure. Equally, there were no delays in our securing a funeral service booking – we made the arrangements as soon as we were contracted to arrange the funeral; payment in full to the providers is always required to secure arrangements.

"When someone dies, it is only possible to slow down nature and the ability to restore a loved one’s appearance through embalming or presentation will always depend on a number of factors. It was explained to the family that nature had begun to take its course by the time she came into our care, and we had not yet prepared or presented their mother at rest in her coffin. The family pressed to view anyway and, although their mother was not yet dressed in her own clothing, she was neatly covered with a sheet and in a modest state. While we are deeply sorry that the experience was not a positive one, we do understand why our staff member respected their fervently expressed wish to see her - having provided the best and clearest advice he could.

"Finally, on the day of the funeral, it was necessary to hire in a limousine - which unfortunately broke down. It is important to state that it was this limousine that broke down - not our hearse which was carrying the coffin, as has been alleged. This was regrettable, but we refunded the cost of its hire. However, it is not true that the pre-booked coach did not attend the service as it was parked in the designated coach park space and successfully used by mourners attending the funeral service. Nevertheless, we also refunded the cost of the coach as a goodwill gesture."