Irish League striker on alcohol and drug addictions that left him 'rock bottom'

Darren Murray insists he has no big targets or lofty ambitions as he closes in on his Irish League return. The former Premiership striker is preparing for life in the Championship after signing for Newington.

It is a return to familiar territory for Murray, who started his career with the North Belfast side.

Murray's nomadic career saw him meander from club to club over the past 13 years, including spells at Donegal Celtic, Portadown, Cliftonville, Crusaders, Glentoran, Carrick Rangers and Belfast Celtic.

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His most recent destination was Amateur League outfit Lisburn Rangers, who he played "about six games" for last season. And at the age of 32, he was close to packing it all in.

The landscape has changed for Murray, however, who is approaching four months being sober from alcohol and drugs. He has started to turn his life around after his addictions saw him hit "rock bottom".

Murray told Belfast Live: "I am coming up on four months' sober. It was alcohol and drugs for me. My life was a mess before I got clean. It is something that has shadowed me for several years.

"It has been carrying on from the age of 16 or 17, but I just hid it. I wasn't massively into any drugs when I was younger, but I was a big drinker from early teens.

"It was a bit easier to get away with back then because I was training and playing every week. But then situations change and I stopped training, playing in matches.

"But now I have got myself into a good place and I believe I can offer a bit more now. I played at a high level before, but I was never going to hit my potential when drinking and taking drugs.

"The past couple of weeks I have been asking myself a lot more questions. How I got through certain stages of my career. At certain times it did impact on my life and career, and at other times it probably helped me.

"I was drinking before games and training sessions. I just didn't care at the time. It is me who has to live with it now. At the time it wasn't fair on teammates and things like that.

"It is what it is. I was going through my own problems and that was my way of dealing with the s*** happening in my life."

Murray says the turning point came at the lowest ebb in his life.

"I just hit rock bottom. Nothing was going for me. I had no work, my family life was going to s*** and everything was going against me," he added.

"Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom before you realise you need to change. I knew I was at that point. And the only way I could get out of it was getting clean.

"Nobody could help me but myself. It has been tough, but I have good friends and family around me. But I am 118 days' clean, so I am doing good.

"I feel great. My physical and mental health has never felt better. And all these positive things have an impact on your whole life, whether it be family, jobs, sport, whatever. My previous way of life was helping absolutely nothing.

"Everyone was worried about me, bar myself. I was in a bad place and had to get myself out of that place. I have managed to do that so far.

"I know there are pitfalls and you can easily fall back into your old ways, but my mindset now is I am not going back there.

"This is a new life for me. I am able to do stuff. I am not lying down or off my head at someone's house.

"You might think alcohol and drugs take the edge off your problems and anxiety, but it just makes it worse."

Murray linked up with Newington last month and is currently in pre-season ahead of the Championship kicking off in August.

He has also been doing regular gym sessions and playing golf.

"We started pre-season training at Newington there last Tuesday and we are getting into the swing of things. It has been tough pre-season training with a lot of running," he said.

"I joined them a few weeks back and have signed up for next season. I can't wait to get started. I started my career with Newington, and I know the manager Conor Crossan. He came to me and asked what I was doing.

"I was ready to pack it all in, what with the addictions and stuff. But I decided to give it one last go.

"I played six times for Lisburn Rangers last season and then I got injured. So that was me. The last few years have been stop start for me.

"But I am clean now. I played too long with addictions, so now I can look forward to playing while clean and sober. I will give it a go for a year and see what happens."

At 32, Murray feels he has "plenty more to offer" in the Irish League, but stopped shy of making any bold predictions ahead of his return.

"I am not setting any targets. At the minute I am fixated on helping Newington as much as possible. It is the Championship and it is a decent level. I know how tough the league is. It is high-level football," he said.

"And Newington is a good club and an ambitious club. They have kept in touch with me over the years.

"They always ask how I am doing, and to be fair Conor Crossan has been on the phone every day to see how I am doing.

"If I get back to the Premiership, then that's the way it goes. But I am not even thinking about that.

"Being sober has offered me a whole new perspective on life. I was never a gym person, but I can't stay out of the place at the minute. I have been in it eight weeks and it is the fittest I have felt in probably about 10 years.

"I feel as if I can offer something to football, and it has worked out I will be coming back with the team I started my career with. I am only 32 and I know I have plenty to offer.

"If teams were getting 70 or 80 per cent out of me before, then imagine what I can do with 100 per cent. A fully fit Darren Murray is a scary man in front of goal."

Murray also accepts there will be plenty of eyes on him next season, with Irish League fans keen to see how the former Premiership hit-man performs in the second tier.

He also knows there will be critics waiting for any downfall.

"You know yourself, there will be those people who want you to fail. And there will be people who want to see you do amazing. That's how it works," he said.

"I am happy in myself right now. I am happy in my own body and mind, so I don't care what people think or say about me.

"The support I have received has been incredible, even from people I don't even know. It is much appreciated.

"And hopefully it sends out the right message to people who are struggling out there. There is always hope and a better way of life.

"People have spoken out before about alcohol, drugs and things like gambling. I would urge anyone struggling to seek help or speak to someone."

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