Jools Oliver says she gets flashbacks about the near-fatal miscarriage she had before she had her most recent child, four-year-old River Rocket.
Speaking on the Life & Soul Podcast the 45-year-old model, author and designer — and wife of celebrity chef Jamie Oliver — said: “Miscarriages can be so damn dangerous, they can take your life. I get flashbacks that I’m going to have to live with the rest of my life and that is really hard.”
Miscarriage affects one in four pregnancies in the UK.
The couple have five children together: Poppy, 18, Daisy, 17, Petal, 11, Buddy, 10, and River Rocket, who is four. She experienced her first miscarriage before River Rocket and went on to have five in total, with their second being the one that endangered her life, leaving her with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Talking on the podcast to Zoe Clark-Coates MBE, the founder and CEO of the Saying Goodbye charity which offers support to people who had experienced baby loss, Oliver said she initially didn't like talking about her miscarriages having already had four children.
“I felt guilty as I had four children and thought I can’t tell people about my miscarriages," Oliver explained.
"I stopped telling my friends, I didn’t even tell my mum as I was sure she was thinking ‘you’re 40 something, you’ve got a wonderful family, you’ve got everything you’ve ever wanted, why are you pushing it?”
She continues, “I didn’t even really tell Jamie I was pregnant at points as I was worried he’d think ‘why are we going through this all again?’ I thought I was putting people through hell for my own selfish gain, and that’s terrible.”
Oliver also criticised the lack of medical after care for families who go through miscarriages.
“You cannot pack someone off and say ‘Off you go. Go and pass your baby and you’ll be fine’. I don’t know how they can do that, I don’t know why they do that," Oliver says. "Why aren’t they calling you everyday and saying ‘Darling, it’s me I’m your midwife. How much blood loss have you had? How do you feel?’”
“They do when they come to check the health of the baby every day, why can’t they do that with a miscarriage as it could be fatal.”
Despite her experiences, Oliver says she's still keen to extend her family once again and has thought about going down the IVF route “to find the healthiest eggs”.
The full episode of Life & Soul Podcast featuring Jools Oliver, will be on Acast from 10 August.
Watch: Jamie Oliver tracks down stolen tractor