K-Pop Superstar Jackson Wang Is Unsatisfied: ‘I’m Trying to Kill the Previous Me’

Just days before the release of his second solo album, Jackson Wang wasn’t convinced it lives up to his standards.

“It’s something that I’ve been preparing for a long time and I feel like I’ve prepped well. But as you know, I’m always not really satisfied with everything that I do,” he admitted on a recent Zoom call. “I mean, I like it, but I feel like it’s not there yet for this album.”

Throughout his conversation with The Daily Beast, it became immediately and increasingly clear that Wang is a consummate perfectionist, which perhaps isn’t too surprising for a 28-year-old global star who’s used to excelling on pretty much every front. As a kid, he took after his parents—his dad is a former member of the Chinese national fencing team and Olympian, and his mom is a world champion gymnast—by joining Hong Kong’s junior fencing team and competing in the 2010 Summer Youth Olympics. Then, while training for the London Olympics and mulling over a scholarship invitation from Stanford University, the then-16-year-old caught the attention of South Korean talent agency JYP and decided to pivot to music and the glossy world of K-pop. He was trained in dance, rap, and martial arts, and debuted in 2014 with the seven-member group GOT7, who have gone on to release five albums and 16 EPs together.

All the while, Wang has been balancing GOT7 with his own burgeoning solo career. His debut album, 2019’s Mirrors, became the highest-charting debut ever from a Chinese artist. The wins kept coming from there—in April, he became the first Chinese solo act to perform at Coachella; he was featured on this summer’s star-studded Minions: The Rise of Gru soundtrack; he’s expanded his brand into fashion with Team Wang Design; and in August, he headlined 88rising’s Asian music festival Head in the Clouds in Los Angeles.

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All of that brings us to Magic Man, his 10-track sophomore record released last Friday. Wang made the album during what he admits was a tumultuous time in his life as he faced self-imposed pressures of not doing enough or being enough. That tension finds its way into the music—an amalgam of grunge, pop, and rock that introduces a rougher edge to his sound—and even seeps into the aesthetics as well, with album artwork featuring a distorted, almost demon-like rendering of Wang.

The week before Magic Man’s release, The Daily Beast spoke with Wang about his tortured psyche, not living up to his high expectations, his relationship with the rest of GOT7, and more.

When did you start working on this album?

It’s bits and pieces from almost a year and a half ago. Especially for this album, everything is from scratch. We’re coming up with ideas, and we ax it. Then we come up with something else, and we ax it. It’s been back and forth. And then aside from prepping the album, I was also going through issues a year and a half ago, personally.

When you say going through issues, do you mean mental health-wise, or what?

Everything. Things changed. I just got fed up with everything. I felt like I wasn’t living me. Not in terms of the lyrics and the music that I was doing. More of the way I deliver and the way that I’ve presented myself for the past six, seven years of my career. I felt like it was me, but at the same time, it wasn’t the 360, you know? I just want to be more Jackson.

Were there specific times over the past few years where you were doing something inauthentic? Are there regrets or things you wish you hadn’t done that you can point to?

Definitely not. I just felt like I wanted to connect with my audience deeper, making sure that they know who they’re supporting, not what they think I am. I just wanted to be honest with them. To let them know what I really want to do and who I really am, through music, through engaging with them, through sharing more and more about my thoughts.

Do you feel like you were maybe misunderstood in the past? Like something got lost in translation between you and your fans?

It wasn’t just that. It’s more of my output in various ways. It wasn’t something that I regret or want to undo. It’s more of, I wish I could have shown more on my music side, or creative side, [with] these opportunities.

So do you consider this new album as a course correction in some way?

I just feel like this album… the Magic Man name of the album, it’s more like an abstract feeling of me going through all these moments—good moments, bad moments. It felt like a battlefield. Physically and mentally, I was lonely. It’s about moving on, dropping whatever I was, whoever I was. Dropping everything behind and not even looking at it again, and just moving on and moving forward. This is me, now.

There’s one song on this album, “Champagne Cool,” where you’re singing about the “smoke and mirrors” of “showbiz.” You have a lyric where you say “fame is just a game.” Do you struggle with being famous?

I really struggle with a lot of stuff. But I just feel like, at the end of the day, I got to know more about myself. And [that’s] why Magic Man is me now, mentally and physically. There’s so much stuff that I just figured out about myself and the way I look at things now. First of all, I just gotta be better and better as an artist. Fame and popularity to me, now, I just feel like it’s bubbles. You have it now and you don’t have it tomorrow. It doesn’t mean anything. What means something is what you put out.

That’s why you gotta be better and better [with] what you are delivering to this market as an entertainer, as a performer. Giving out your best is a basic, but can you actually hit people’s heart? That’s more important to me now. The stuff that I do, I just gotta be better, and I just gotta do it my way. I’m only focusing on what I put out. What can I make, [where] the people that support me will feel like it’s worth it, and if I can entertain them in their daily life?

When you talk about being better and better, how do you measure that? Are you someone who pays a lot of attention to chart positions, streaming numbers, that kind of thing?

I feel like it’s the content. That’s why the thing that I’m always battling with myself is... every time, I’m trying to kill the previous me. That’s my goal: to outdo myself, the previous self. If I have something out, the next time, I would want to do something more and more and more [and] be better. I feel like even the stuff that I put out for [Magic Man lead singles] “Cruel” and “Blow,” it might not be the biggest number on the internet or have crazy traffic. It didn’t blow up. But I feel like it’s a part of my artistry, and it’s something new that I’m doing.

I feel like what I’m doing will eventually have a crowd and a community of people. For a lot of stuff in this industry, every time period has different waves. It’s just [a matter of] if it’s your time. I feel like I’m waiting for that wave for my stuff—that moment that people can relate to my stuff.

I mean, the irony, in my eyes, is that you’re immensely popular right now. Even just at Head in the Clouds, you were the headliner and drew thousands of people. You have 30 million followers on Instagram. It looks like you’re at the top, but you don’t seem to feel that way.

I really appreciate the crowd and supporters I have right now, because they started with me since literally day one. But I just feel like it’s not good enough yet, you know? I wish I can really, really deliver something that I can be satisfied with. And I don’t think I’m there yet. I think a lot of it has to do with my skill set and the way that I’m always pushing myself to think outside of the box when I’m creating. I just feel like I gotta do better. I know everyone’s saying, “Hey, why are you so hard on yourself?” I just feel like that’s the answer—because you’re just not good enough. You’re not an artist that anybody can relate to. I’m still going to do what I do, but the answer is always you’re not good enough yet.

You mentioned not being satisfied with your skill set. Are there specific skills that you want to improve, whether it’s singing, writing, making music videos, something else?

I think it’s everything. Honestly, I’m prepping for my concert, but I don’t even know if I can do a concert. Nothing has been confirmed, but I just want to pre-prep it, to think of ideas and brainstorm. How do I put everything together, and it feels like a concert that has never been seen? And that always excites me. So stuff like that—dance, vocals, even just creatives or visuals. That’s what I’m working on every day, prepping the whole thing as a package. It takes time. I want to pre-prep that until maybe I have an opportunity to do a concert or a tour where people actually want to come see me. And then I’ll be ready and not rush. It’s just about, what am I doing every single day to move forward? Sharpening my weapons every single day.

Speaking of performing, I have to ask you about the moment you brought out Michelle Yeoh at Head in the Clouds. How did that happen? Did you know each other before that?

Yeah, we know each other, but we never went super public about it. We never really announced our friendship whatsoever, and she came to the festival, she was having a good time. And especially for this community, as an Asian, I felt like, everybody needs to know the queen is here.

Yeah, it looked like she had such a blast on stage. That was a fun moment. How and when did you two meet?

It was a while ago. We met through [mutual] contacts. I think it was last year [or] two years ago at a dinner. We were just talking about life, talking about everything. We weren’t being very commercial and business about it. Just showing my respect to the legend and having a friendly moment, like family.

It’d be cool to see you two team up on something. If there’s a sequel to Everything Everywhere All at Once, maybe you can be in it.

I love that movie too. And even talking about like… I’ve never acted before, and I’ve never been in the film industry, but I’m always prepping myself. Having friends in the film industry, we would connect, we would talk about it. And I would sometimes go on their set just to observe. Since it’s such [a different] world than the music industry, I just feel like I need to be prepped and at least have the knowledge of what it’s about to actually be in it. That’s why I've been prepping three, four years, taking lessons and stunt training, just to be ready. You never know when an opportunity appears in front of you and you want to be ready when it’s there, because it might not come twice.

Do you have a dream role that you would love to tackle one day?

As a kid, I always loved action movies—flips, stunts, assassins. Honestly, I don’t know. I’ve been getting roles and opportunities for romantic movies, but I just can’t imagine myself in a romantic movie. I’m not convinced, myself, to fall in love with somebody. Maybe that’s just an acting skill set. Even [though] I’ve never acted in an action movie, I feel like I’m more comfortable, so I can envision that. But romantic movies, I don’t know, man.

I mean, that makes sense. You’re an athlete and you’ve done martial arts, so you’re probably comfortable doing that kind of thing. But no one really teaches you how to, like, kiss someone on camera, which sounds terrifying.

Honestly, I would love to, but I just never envisioned a romantic story, like Romeo and Juliet and stuff like that. I don’t know, man. I can’t. I mean, maybe one day. You never know. What I’m looking for... Because growing up, it has always been watching movies like Jackie Chan, Michelle, Donnie Yen, Jet Li, and all these legends. It’s been my dream, and I’m prepping myself for that.

When you and the rest of GOT7 are working on solo projects, do you share any of your music with each other? Or do they hear it when the rest of the world hears it?

We don’t really share. Honestly, we don’t really talk about it. When we’re together, we don’t really talk about business. We’re not in that kind of a relationship. We’re just friends, and we talk about personal stuff. Something that has nothing to do with our career. That’s it.

Do you think being able to do your own solo music helps extend the lifespan of the group? Like, do you think you’ll be a group longer because you have these opportunities to branch out and do your own thing?

Honestly, I think that has nothing to do with it. GOT7 is GOT7. Each of our individual music is individual. And that’s it. GOT7 means nothing but family to me. It has nothing to do with my work, it has nothing to do with my music, me as an artist, nothing. It’s just fam. It’s like your childhood friends.

I want to ask you about the last couple songs on the album, “Dopamine” and “Blue.” You’ve talked a lot in our conversation about struggling with yourself and your confidence, and it sounds to me like with those two songs, you’re able to find some hope and comfort. I’m curious what those songs mean to you.

It means a lot. You know, you can have a lot of friends and a lot of people around you every day, but you’re still lonely inside. You’re lost inside. Honestly, what means the most to me is the people that support my stuff, support me, my crowd, my audience. And a lot of times, I feel very sorry to them. Because even a couple of years ago, the songs that I released or the stuff that I did, when I look at it now, I just felt like, “What?” I knew it was bad, but they still [supported] it, even though I felt they knew it was bad too. That’s why I feel like I gotta be better, to make it worth it to them and to make them proud. That’s it. I think for “Dopamine” and “Blue,” it’s just a feeling of me when I’m super, super down and by myself. A lot of times I would drink by myself at night just to think of creative and inspiration. Like, “What’s for the next one?”

Even at this moment, right after this interview, I’m prepping the music video for “Come Alive.” Because I will say, 99.999 percent of my stuff, it’s not like, “Oh, I have choreo, I have the concept, I have the outfit, and then I go on set, I do it, and it’s done.” It’s not like that. I have to start everything from scratch. Every frame of the camera, every single detail, I would have to create it in the studio along with my team, with the choreographer, the camera director, the director, producer, everything.

What can you tell me about the “Come Alive” video?

Well, I’m trying to kill “Cruel.” I’m trying to outdo it in camera framing and in the art side of it. Basically, this video, I’m trying to sum up the whole album. I don’t know if I can share, but I’ll just say it’s creepy and dark, but with humor.

Excited to see that. Before we go, is there anything you want to add or anything you think I should know?

I would love to do a tour, but I don’t know if I can.

Why not?

You need people [to] want to come to your tour to do a tour. I don’t know if I can do that. I don’t know if anyone would [come]. It’s not like, “I want to do a tour, I can do a tour.” It’s the label, the promoter… it’s business. So I don’t know if I can [be] satisfying enough for them to feel like I can tour.

Well, I hope it happens for you. I have a feeling this interview will come out and you’ll have plenty of fans who will say, “We want this.”

Thank you. Are you going to come if I have a tour?

Sure, I’ll come.

Are you going to bring 1,000 friends?

I’ll bring everyone I know, how’s that?

OK. Thank you.

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