Bad news Love Island fans, as this evening’s episode opens we discover that Adam – the most hated man in reality television history since Nasty Nick and his hidden mobile – is still very much alive, well and causing more misery in the villa.
Tonight he’s continuing to rub salt into Rosie’s wounds calling her garden photoshoot, ‘the most off-putting thing in the world.’
Yes, it might have been an ill-advised move on her part to pose topless in order to garner the attention of someone who is half man, half snake, but Adam is incorrect.
The actual most off-putting thing in the world to anyone, be they man, woman or dog, is his face.
In fact, the poor lad had better hope he does manage to couple up with someone in the villa because there isn’t a single person left in the UK who would want to sleep with him.
Original couple Wes and Laura are on the rocks after the arrival of newbie Ellie and it’s lead us to question, did we ever believe that they were going to last the distance? Or is what we’re really surprised about the fact that 20-year-old Wes was the first to try and cut and run?
Sadly, he seems to have taken a sip from the same cup as Adam as he lovingly reminded Laura that, ‘WE ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP.’
They manage to make things up later though when Ellie tells Wes that she’s just not that into him and he realises that actually him and Laura could go the distance.
Funny when things play out like that, eh, Wes?
In fact, for a show that centres around people finding romance there seems to be a notable lack of real love in this year’s Love Island.
You know what we’re talking about, Cara and Nathan style love, Camilla and Jamie style love, Kem and Amber before they unceremoniously split up style love.
Obviously, there are the clear winners Dani and Jack aka, the couple most likely to be engaged by the end of 2018.
But Megan and Eyal, Josh and Georgia? Come on guys, we want those condoms to be used for more than just endless water fights.
The most romantic kiss in tonight’s episode was between Jack and Alex and that’s saying something.
If ‘where is the love,’ is the question of the day. ‘What actually happens to all the photos that they take on their phones’, is the question of the evening.
Do they have an in house whatsapp group? Has someone tried to crack the production Wi-Fi password to vote for themselves on the Love Island app?
Maybe Adam could really do a Nasty Nick after-all. That is if he wasn’t too busy trying to teach Alex how to kiss.
Alex, the man who once admitted to having a threesome, a threesome, dear reader, that we’d like to hear more of the awkward details of.
It pays off though as he bags a ‘snog,’ – Alex one hundred percent describes kisses as ‘snogs,’ doesn’t he? – with Ellie.
And the sunsets on another day in the Love Island villa we’d like to send one final note to Love Island producers: Can we just discuss how much Samira needs a date?
Samira the voice of reason, Samira the shoulder to cry on, Samira the woman who has been sharing a bed with the lobster doctor Alex for the best part of three weeks and hasn’t once complained about it.
If not a date, a sainthood would do. Please get back to us soon with more options than that Sam Bird guy, he doesn’t look nearly good enough for her.