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I’m a relationship expert — here’s why ‘looking expensive’ makes dating harder for women

Nelly Sudri, a 28-year-old matchmaker living in Beverly Hills, claims that “looking expensive” scares men away.
Nelly Sudri, a 28-year-old matchmaker living in Beverly Hills, claims that "looking expensive" scares men away.

If you’re a woman with a world-class education and a designer wardrobe, you may pay the price in your dating life, according to a dating expert.

Nelly Sudri, a 28-year-old matchmaker living in Beverly Hills, claims that “looking expensive” scares men away.

Sudri frequently posts dating advice on her TikTok page, where she has over 785,000 followers and goes by @ask.nelly.

“Ladies, the more expensive you look and the more expensive you sound, whether that’s through your education, how worldly you are, what you wear, you know if you’re dripped out in designers, or you just have like a really elegant look about you … the more expensive you look, the smaller your dating pool is gonna be,” she said in a TikTok video posted last week that has garnered nearly 3 million views.

She said this happens because while a lot of men might still pursue “expensive looking” women for “their own personal ego and validation,” they ultimately will have a hard time committing because their “presence makes them feel insecure.”

Sudri explained that men are “hardwired to be providers,” and if they see someone who already seems to have it all, they feel they “can’t provide anything for her that she doesn’t already have.”

She said a man seeks to impress a woman, and he has a hard time impressing someone who already has a lot — unlike someone who has less whom he can impress more easily.

“They will go for a girl who makes them feel a lot more in their masculine energy, and sometimes it’s not about you — it’s just about them in their own complex,” she said.

Having expensive taste can trigger men who don’t think they can give you anything you don’t already have. Instagram/@ask.nelly
Having expensive taste can trigger men who don’t think they can give you anything you don’t already have. Instagram/@ask.nelly

She even compared a high-value woman to a luxury Bugatti car.

“There’s a reason not a lot of people walk into that dealership,” Sudri said.

“Cause not a lot of people can afford them,” she explained.

She said that even people who can afford a Bugatti feel insecure about the fact that someone could steal their car or they simply don’t want something that outwardly flashy.

However, she’s not telling women to change.

“I’m not saying turn yourself into a Toyota or Benz,” Sudri said, adding that women should not to act surprised when people don’t enter their metaphorical “dealership.”

She said that the dating pool might be smaller but women should “hold out for the right customer.”

The Post reached out to Sudri for comment.

Several women commented below her video to tell her they’ve observed this issue in their own dating lives.

Nelly said certain women may have a smaller dating pool, but that doesn’t mean they have to lower their standards. Instagram/@ask.nelly
Nelly said certain women may have a smaller dating pool, but that doesn’t mean they have to lower their standards. Instagram/@ask.nelly

“A guy told me, ‘you look expensive, I can’t afford you’ — that’s what boogie on a budget gets you,” she said.

“I get told I’m intimidating! That’s on them! An aligned man will not cower, he will step forth in,” said another.

“This is very true, plus at 5’10 it’s an added threat happy singleton,” said a third.

While some women hope to attract a mate, some are finding ways to keep them far away

Gen Z’s latest man-repelling tactic is the #UnapproachableMakeup trend that sees women donning dark eye shadow, tinted bronzers and pops of lip color to intimidate the opposite sex.

She compared expensive-looking women to luxury cars. She said even people who can afford them may not buy one for fear of their car getting stolen or thinking they look too flashy. TikTok/@ask.nelly
She compared expensive-looking women to luxury cars. She said even people who can afford them may not buy one for fear of their car getting stolen or thinking they look too flashy. TikTok/@ask.nelly

“It works like a charm,” Megi Hebeja, a 22-year-old style influencer from Philadelphia, told The Post about the beauty hack last summer. “And it only takes about 10 minutes.”

And then there are the women who attract a man, but scare him off after he comes over to their house and sees their choice of decor.

Dana Kuritzkes posted a video on TikTok detailing her list of the most common man-repelling home decorations.

Those include crystals, stuffed animals, dream catchers, snow globes, a curling iron in the sink, a “live, laugh, love” sign, framed photos of yourself and Disney memorabilia.