NI mum on how turning to fitness helped her cope with grief of recurrent pregnancy loss

A Northern Ireland mum has bravely opened up about how she has coped after losing 22 babies through recurrent pregnancy loss.

Kelly Thomson, 41, from Co Down is a proud mum-of-three but she has also suffered the heartbreaking loss of multiple babies early in pregnancy down the years.

When faced with an added medical complication following her last loss and in a bid to help her through her grief, she turned to bodybuilding and diving to help build herself back up.

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Kelly told Belfast Live: "I have gone through recurrent miscarriages since I was in my early 20s and all at around seven or eight weeks. I do have three children all of whom were regarded as a high risk pregnancy but they all give us the strength to keep going. I had six early pregnancy losses before my eldest was born and at that stage I just thought to myself that I wasn't going to be able to carry children.

"Around halfway through the Covid lockdown, it was discovered that I had six uterine fibroids growing within the cavity wall of my uterus. The doctors haven't been able to remove them and I have quite a lot of gynaecological conditions due to previous surgery decades ago.

"After two more losses, myself and my partner felt that this just wasn't going to happen for us and that we couldn't have any more. By last October I had fallen pregnant again and at around seven weeks we heard a heartbeat so everything looked to be going really well.

"Then I started having symptoms of loss and when we went to the hospital were told we had lost the baby. I was sent home to see if things happened naturally but while at home I became quite unwell and went back in. I was kept in hospital for a few days and after the loss was confirmed in a scan I was to be sent home the next day.

"But I was in quite a lot of pain and when I was rescanned before I was sent home, the scan showed what looked like clouding in my womb. I was sent for emergency surgery where it was discovered that an ovarian cyst had ruptured and a couple more were found that had to be removed and I ended up with 21 staples up my front."

After this Kelly turned to fitness to help her through the grieving process after the loss of her babies and took on strength training. She was also certified as an open ocean diver last year and is moving onto sports diving which she further credits with helping her alongside her bodybuilding.

She explained: "The strength training has been intense but it has completely transformed my body after the emergency open abdominal surgery I had in October. I didn't like the scar up my tummy from being stapled as that sort of thing can impact your self-esteem as well as being a painful reminder of the baby I lost.

"Since then I've been using strength training to help build myself back up again as I knew I had to be stronger for myself and my family. The training has also helped me in my grief and made me feel better in myself and I also have good support from my PT as well.

"Also in terms of diving, it's something that not many women do but I find it very therapeutic. It's great for your mental health and has helped me as I can get quite upset with myself at times. I started my diving journey to help me grieve and the diving has helped me through every single process.

"I know that some people never find out why it's happening to them or the cause. For some people, you want that closure but sometimes you don't get it so I honestly feel that going into some sort of training can really help you feel better in yourself. For anybody going through this if you need counselling, take it as it can be really helpful in terms of changing the way you think about things."

Kelly added: "For me, I don't think people hear much about recurrent pregnancy loss and it's something that's not really talked about enough. Looking back now I think people don't realise that this isn't just an issue for older women as it can happen even when you're very young and trying to conceive - there's no age limit.

"After my losses I was always looking for reasons - was it something I had or hadn't done? - but it's not your fault. It's important to look after yourself and do things that make you feel better, whether it be training, swimming or a walk. Just focus on yourself, don't beat yourself up, take your time and if you want to conceive again, do so when you're ready."

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