Noel Edmonds’ bizarre new career change

From claiming his parents have turned into melon-sized orbs of light to plugging electronic boxes that ‘tackle cancer’, Noel Edmonds has never been a man to tread the well-worn showbiz career path.

But even the most ardent of Edmonds-watchers will have failed to see the former House Party presenter’s latest career move coming.

If you been wondering how the 67-year-old star has been filling his time now that Deal Or No Deal is no more, here’s the answer: Noel’s been busy setting up a telephone callback service for undervalued pets.

That’s right.

All you need to do is fill out a form on the frankly batty Noels World website and the star will give your dog, cat, hamster or budgie a call to offer a few friendly words of comfort and appreciation.

“What would life be like without our feathered, furry, scaly friends?,” he asks. “Well the answer is – pretty miserable.

“So I want to make these precious chums feel important and appreciated. It’s amazing how a simple brief phone call can pick up the spirits of the most dejected hamster, the most stressed goldfish and the most neurotic cat.

“Please allow me to call your pet and offer positive words of appreciation and motivation.”

It really works, too. Guardian journalist Peter Ormerod completed the form with low expectations of anything happening. So imagine his surprise when the Swap Shop man gave his cat a ring to offer some “words of affirmation and motivation.”

“I never actually thought the actual Edmonds would actually call and actually speak to my actual cat,” Peter admitted.