Yahoo News This poem about a cow licking bread has gone viral, IDK don’t ask us
Are you ready for the wildest poetry-related ride since you found out what the “nothing” in Much Ado About Nothing actually meant? Ready or not, here comes the Reddit user who wrote a poem about a cow licking bread. At first glance, they seem like something you’d find inscribed on some illuminated manuscript — but then you remember you’re actually scrolling through Reddit, and so somebody in the present actually penned/typed these poetic masterpieces.
If you’re wondering how this all began, let us tell you. Because of course there’s a backstory. It all started with a funny story about somebody’s stepdad, a baker in an 18th century bakery recreation, and an unfortunate encounter with a cow.
“My stepdad used to be a baker in an authentic recreation of an 18th century New French fortress. Because they sell bread to the public, the health inspector came by, and she was ripping into my stepdad for violations like the stonework walls, the doorless entranceways, or the lack of a mosquito zapper. He pointed out that they were following the highest standards except for things that would destroy the authenticity of this 18th-century bakery. The health inspector relented and agreed to give him a pass after verifying the food storage area was secure. They went to the shed, which was a doorless building attached to the bakery. As the health inspector went in, there happened to be an escaped cow licking all of the loaves. My stepdad could only say, ‘Honestly, this never happens.'”
Simple enough. But then a user responded with the following poem.
“my name is Cow,
and wen its nite,
or wen the moon
is shiyning brite,
and all the men
haf gon to bed –
i stay up late.
i lik the bred.”
Obviously this is a masterpiece in and of itself, but the internet can’t let sleeping cows lie, as it were, and so now there’s a whole mess of poems written in this style about cows. It’s weird. It’s glorious. It’s been making us laugh for hours.
my name is Cow;
wen man with sheeld
with hevy tred
disturbs my feeld,
i feer no stycke,
i do not stop –
i lowr my hed.
i charg the cop. pic.twitter.com/EtcFTkKfzQ— johnny foam (@3liza) January 23, 2017
http://captain-trashcan.tumblr.com/post/156010815517/my-name-is-cow-and-in-the-day-tu-wish-him-well
Some internet denizens/possible MFA candidates have even gone so far as to analyze the structure of these poems.
http://krabbydon.tumblr.com/post/156292508208/the-anatomy-of-a-cow-poem-or-bredlik
The writer of the original poems hasn’t yet commented, although they have shared other similar poems. Such as this one about a dog…
“my name is Dog,
and wen its tea,
i hope they giv
sum foode to me –
i hope they shair
befor its gon –
they never do.i dont get non.”
…and then responded to themselves with a response from the cow. YEAH, we’re getting DEEP.
“my name is Cow,
and this is tru –
my caynine frend,
its up to yu.
so just be brayve
and smart insted –
and be like me.i lik the bred.”
We’re thinking of starting a movement to read this in school instead of Canterbury Tales, we lik — ahem, we mean like this so much.
