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My state of zen from a yoga break in Morocco vanished pretty quickly once I got back into Brexit mode

My new year resolution was to stop getting wound up by Brexit. I know… talk about setting yourself up to fail. So I decided to go on a yoga holiday to Morocco but there was a slight mishap with the booking. I thought I was staying at a swishy, luxurious five-star all-inclusive resort but I ended up staying at the much smaller, more basic, no-frills retreat down the road. So much for escaping the Brexit metaphor.

It was all fine in the end, though there wasn’t that much food and I had to stockpile crisps. There were people from all over the world and we were all trying to be zen, so I was only allowed one Brexit conversation all week. Basically, everyone thinks we’ve gone mad and the woman from the US and the man from Israel were really grateful I was there as, for once, they weren’t the craziest countries in the room.

Armed with my new-found serenity, I ventured back into the thick of it yesterday and found myself co-hosting a big People’s Vote rally outside Parliament to coincide with the “meaningful vote” on Theresa May’s deal, which went as well for her as my attempt at a headstand. It’s possible she came away less humiliated. She may have lost by 230 votes but she didn’t rip her trousers.

I was nervous about the rally. How many people would be bothered to turn up? Would it all be a damp squib? Would it all kick off with some scary people in hi-vis jackets? I was pleasantly shocked and surprised by all the people who gave up their Tuesday afternoon and evening to be there, including a little girl called Eva right at the front who held up a placard the whole time and laughed at all my jokes.

The mood was upbeat and it was good to have MPs and activists from across the political spectrum, regions and nations working together. I realise I was in a massive Remain bubble but it was nice to be on the right side of a vote for once and the crowds went wild when the result came through and Jeremy Corbyn announced that he was tabling a vote of no confidence in the Government.

"I realise I was in a massive Remain bubble in the rally — but it was nice to be on the right side of a vote for once"

Even though it is unlikely he will win the vote, it felt good because something finally happened. But like most things that give you a short-term euphoric sugar rush, beware the crash. What lies ahead? Will Corbyn ever support a People’s Vote? Would Remain even win a second time round? Could you even put a deal that has been so conclusively rejected by Parliament on the ballot paper? And what would the question actually be?

I’ve thought a lot about this and I think I’ve found the answer — the Marie Kondo method of tidying up and organising your life that is currently sweeping the nation. All we have to do is ask ourselves one question — “does this still spark joy?” Simple. Hey — if it’s good enough for our pants drawer, it’s definitely good enough for Brexit.

Stay sharp, boys, and heed the Gillette ad

Gillette razors used to be famous for their Eighties cheesy adverts showcasing buff, chiselled, dead-eyed, Zoolander male models with the slogan “the best a man can get”. Thankfully and cannily, it has modernised its marketing strategy with a rather good advert which takes on toxic masculinity, damaging gender stereotypes and sexual harassment and leaves us with a new uplifting message — the best men can be. Even this old cynic was moved.

Although there are commercial reasons to update a brand’s reputation, advertising has a powerful influence on society and Gillette should be applauded. The advert has worked because all the right people are upset. Piers Morgan threw his toys out the pram over Gillette challenging his big boy manliness (which I’m sure is waaay bigger than a vegan sausage roll).

Mind you, this is a guy who questioned the machismo of James Bond actor Daniel Craig because he carried his baby daughter … It’s ironic how these so-called alpha males can be such snowflakes when anyone challenges their privilege. Man up, chaps, it’s only an ad… encouraging you to be nice. That’s all.

The correct response would be to take the positive message, therefore proving the need for the advert in the first place. Besides, boys — you got off lightly. You were only asked to be kind. No one even mentioned your beer belly or man boobs.

*The new film Mary Queen of Scots had a special premiere at Edinburgh Castle hosted by First Minister Nicola Sturgeon. There’s a parallel with our times. Two female leaders on either side of the border, both tormented by disloyal men yet determined to fight on.

Nicola Sturgeon and Saoirse Ronan (PA)
Nicola Sturgeon and Saoirse Ronan (PA)

There’s a strong narrative about misogyny, which both Sturgeon and Theresa May have suffered, especially after their meeting about Brexit when they wore skirts (shock horror), leading to the headline “Legxit”. I wish May had seen the film with Sturgeon but I guess she was otherwise engaged…