Strictly Come Dancing and Apprentice: Television's conspiracy to fix as many talent TV shows as possible

[Warning, this article spoils the results of pretty much everything]

There are certain things you can always rely on during the Winter holiday season, roast dinner, family gatherings, people saying that ‘Die Hard’ is the best Christmas film ever made and of course an absolute flurry of reality television finals.

First to finish was ‘Im a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here’ that saw lovable northern lass Scarlett Moffat complete her journey from watching television with her parents to walking out of Australia as ‘Queen of the Jungle’. It was a moment, and indeed a series, that I stated was a ‘win’ for decent human beings everywhere.

Obviously the ‘X-Factor’ final that followed shortly afterwards was considerably not a ‘win’ for decent human beings everywhere as Honey G not only continued to undermine musical talent everywhere but undermined the very premise of the show by announcing that she was releasing a single even before the winner was. Nevertheless clear stand-out Matt Terry walked out as the winner and will release a single vying to be christmas number one.

Which brings me to this weekend, bringing us not one, but two, finals with ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ and ‘The Apprentice’ wrapping up their annual search for a winner. Ore Oduba would jive his way to the glitterball trophy in Strictly and Alana Spencer would win Alan Sugar over with her homegrown cake business, presumably a last ditch effort by the BBC to remind everyone that they brought baking cakes to the national stage.

However I’ve recently noticed that every single one of these shows has the same thing in common. Well, besides from being weekly episodic talent shows where one contestant/s leaves the competition each-week culminating in a winner being dramatically crowned, that is. And that thing in common is that they are all apparently fixed.

I know what you’re thinking, don’t be ridiculous Dan, what on earth would both the BBC and ITV get out of fixing their talent shows by going against the general will of the

paying and voting public at home? But alas, it’s true. I’ve been following the comment sections of articles for each show announcing the winner and they’re all full of people who voted for the ‘other’ person who ‘deserved it more’ and that they were robbed/cheated. Conclusive proof if ever there was any.

I mean, there’s simply no way that the general consenus of the British public was that Scarlett Moffatt was ‘Queen of the Jungle’ because Adam Thomas was Rebecca from Slough’s favourite, and Ore Oduba only won Stricly because he already worked for the BBC and has the whole diversity thing going on, not because he went from being a sports broadcaster with absolutely zero dance training to being a bonafide ballroom expert. No, Danny should have won with his existing dance training and typically excellent performances because of it.

As for Matt Terry on the X Factor? Well, actually I’m pretty sure that show is one huge fix. Or at the very least its contestants are hand-picked and guaranteed a certain amount of screen-time and the show is structured in such a way that even if the public do decide who stays and goes, the producers can be fairly confident that they can control the outcome. At least that’s the only way I can accept Honey G actually being a thing.

But, maybe just maybe, Honey G did get voted through all of those weeks, maybe Ore Oduba did recieve the most votes regardless of whether or not he was the best dancer, maybe Scarlett Moffatt was simply more popular than Adam Thomas and Joel Dommett who all deserved to win I’m a Celebrity, but only she did. Maybe, just maybe these shows aren’t fixed.

I know, I’m as shocked as Matt Terry is. Although Courtney was robbed, did you see that genius trophy sippy cup? Robbed I tell you.