The Musketeers: Paris has become a grimauld place *SPOILERS*

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Episode two continues to set up some delicious head to heads as the baddies step up their bullying of the peasants in Paris.

In a change from what we’ve been used to recently, this show has a straight dividing line between the honourable and righteous heroes, and the scheming, nasty villains.

Treville could take Feron any day of the week, we know that, but it’s fun to see Hugo Speer and Rupert Everett trading intellectual blows as they battle to convince the French equivalent of the DPP to support their own argument over the detained refugees.

D’Artagnan finally meets Marchaux, who’s asking for it so badly, all he needs is a ‘Kick Me’ sticker on his back. And while all the Muskies are on Grimaud’s hit list, he’s reserved a special place for Porthos after the big man’s Poirot-esque detective work, following the limestone trail to the missing grain. He accosts them to congratulate Porthos on his good work, telling them he’s a ‘concerned citizen’. Translation: “I will kill you”.

Ah, Grimaud. I shouldn’t but … what is it about bad boys? We’ve barely started and he’s slitting throats already. Matthew McNulty makes an enigmatic villain and I can’t help thinking that while I’m happy to see Marchaux and Feron be taken apart by the boys, I’d quite like Grimauld to get away. Spin off? Path to redemption kind of thing? Please?

Set against an unjust background we’re all too familiar with now - something’s gone wrong, it must the refugees fault, let’s get them -

- this episode wasn’t all murder and mayhem. We meet the slimy Duke of Beaufort, who’s wetter than Percy from Blackadder, and witness Porthos and Athos introduce Aramis to their own version of fight club; he must be a tad rusty after his four soft years away, and he gets a real decent wallop around the chops from Athos that almost snaps his head off.

Finding the bootleg grain seller, there’s a reversal of type, as Aramis plays bad cop and Porthos the restrained, reasonable cop. Aramis still looks pretty though, even booting stuff around. And who didn’t love the little nod to the wild west, as Athos and D’Artagnan swagger into the Red Guard drinking den?

The King (Ryan Gage) proves he can be quite astute, advising the Queen (Alexandra Dowling) that the Musketeers are back - all four of them: “Seems the life of a celibate monk didn’t suit Aramis.” And an aside to little Louis: “I’m sure we all could have told him that”. And little Louis nods, like he knows … a clue that the lovely Anne and her Muskie lover aren’t in the clear yet?

And Athos, oh Athos, why oh why - you know Milady has ruined you for other women but … it seems his luck might be in, as gutsy refugee Sylvie (Thalissa Teixeira) decides she likes him, (specially, I think, due to the “He’s never been one for power and privilege” line from wing man Aramis). And he’s actually smiling, not sinking his head into a bucket of claret, so that’s good. They shouldn’t get too cosy though - Milady is set to gatecrash Paris before the season is out.

Due to the football, next week’s episode has been moved, to Monday, June 20 at 9pm. I suppose we should be grateful it hasn’t been postponed again for two weeks. BUT WE’RE NOT, BBC, WE’RE NOT. WE’RE UNHAPPY AND YOU NEED TO STOP TAKING THE *BEEP* RIGHT NOW!

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