Vicky Pattison has said her time on Geordie Shore made her feel like a “scumbag”.
Speaking on White Wine Question Time, the reality TV star revealed the way she was perceived by the media – and on social media – during her time in the Newcastle-based show affected her self-worth.
She said: “If you tell someone over and over and over again, 'You are a scumbag, you are a monster. You will never be successful. This is where you are. Stay in your lane.' If you repeat those affirmations to someone, and if someone hears them enough, that is truly what they're going to believe.”
Vicky, one of the original members of the Geordie Shore cast, appeared in the show for nine series.
Much of her time on it focused on her rocky relationship with Ricci Guarnaccio. She told Kate Thornton that by the time she finished Geordie Shore, she believed she didn’t deserve anything and was destined for nothing.
Thankfully for her, a chance to appear in I’m A Celebrity totally changed her life. Vicky won the show in 2015.
“I believed I was the monster that people wrote about in the paper,” she said. “Being given the chance to change people's perception of me, to show the real me and also for me to truly turn a corner and realise I wasn't any of those things and have a bit of self-worth again…
“The jungle changed my life and I'll be eternally grateful for that opportunity.”
However, her time in the jungle nearly didn’t happen. The reputation she had received as part of the Geordie Shore crew meant the producers didn’t want to know her.
“I'd been desperate to even just see the producers for years and they just refused to see me,” she told Kate on White Wine Question Time.
“Then they sort of opened their minds the year I went in… And I remember sitting there with them and they went through all the motions with us and they were dead canny. And they asked us all the right questions. And I just remember thinking, ‘This is absolutely a pivotal moment in your career and if you don't smash this, you'll never forgive yourself.’
“So right at the end they went, 'Is there anything else you want to ask us?' And I just said, 'I don't want to ask you anything. I just wanted to tell you I'll be f***ing good at this.' They were so taken aback!”
For her, the win was doubly sweet as there was a huge backlash against her when she first went into the jungle.
“I know that when I went in everyone was like, 'Get this girl out!’ All the social media channels were just like, 'She's going to ruin it. Reality TV scum. This isn't what the jungle's about'. And within 24 hours I was the favourite to win and I stayed that way.”
“I was obviously unaware of everything that was going on outside. Like you're in this bubble and all you're focusing on is like smashing the trials, having a bit of banter with Ant and Dec, and getting on with everyone in camp and making sure you don't look like a fanny - that was my only goals when I was in there. I didn't know what everyone else was seeing.”
Vicky’s best mate, DJ Gavin Foord who appeared alongside her on White Wine Question Time, said her initial unpopularity was actually a good thing for him.
“I bet on her when she was still not the favourite,” he told Kate. “Big win for me. It was good odds. I got knob-rates.”
Vicky, who recently appeared on Celebrity Masterchef, is just glad she finally put to bed her old public persona. “It allowed me to show Great Britain and the public and myself who I really am,” she said.