Are our accents a help or a hindrance, Cheryl?

People in Britain don't have a problem understanding what Cheryl Cole is talking about although it always seemed likely that our American friends were going to struggle to comprehend her Geordie accent, after all they nearly subtitled the Scots in 'Trainspotting'.

Perhaps we ought to be sympathetic as Britain has more accents than other countries, partly due to the length of time we've been speaking English and the number of different people who've arrived on these shores. Speaking of which the Newcastle dialect had already come to the fore for the wrong reasons earlier in the week in the despicable MTV programme 'Geordie Shore', wherein young, orange people wearing revealing clothes vomit all over the place… that's entertainment, according to MTV.

Before getting into an extended rant about the insidious rubbish that gets on telly these days it's worth noting that this sort of programming has highlighted the almost anthropological interest we take in the different tribes dotted about Britain, each with their different customs, social mores and wildly different ways of speaking.

'The Only Way Is Essex' is also populated by remedial Oompa-Loompas but ones that speak in Estuary English which is essentially a cockney accent which has been tinged with a bit of a rural twist, a result of the post-war migration from East London slums out to the greener pastures of Essex. This sort of pronunciation is named after the Thames Estuary and is apparently a classless way of speaking across the Southeast.

If you say "cheers" for "thanks", "mate" for "friend" and don't sound the "tt" in "butter" you may be speaking it. It's how mockneys speak - people who deliberately change their accent to fit in with the herd, like Guy Ritchie or people in every advert for anything remotely laddish ("Cheers for the WKD mate.")

In the past people went to elocution lessons to sound more posh, nowadays high born boys like Ritchie can make a career out of commonness.

One thing which is definitely true of Cheryl is that she speaks in her own accent, even though changing it would probably have helped her keep her American 'X Factor' job.

To get on television in the old days you had to speak like Miles Chumley-Warner in what is known as Received Pronunciation or Queen's English. It's still popular with the BBC, especially on Radio Four. In the world of appalling anthropological television this accent comes close to being represented by the despicable wastes of skin parading about in 'Made In Chelsea'. I say almost as despite the fact that they ought to be choking on all the plums and silver spoons in their mouths they actually do have the nerve to use "mate" and "cheers"…Its cool to be common don't you know?

Way back in the 80s over-privileged west Londoners wore their poshness as a badge of honour, ultimate Sloane Ranger Princess Diana said "Jah" for "Yes", "rarely" for "really" and would call Harrods "Rods."

Two weeks back some of 'The Apprentice' candidates thought it would be a good idea to invent a mobile phone app called 'Slangatang' which would enable your phone to bark out phrases like "Let's go for a walk in the valleys" in a Welsh accent. One of the websites they approached to promote their invention objected on the grounds that it perpetuated stereotypes and was racist. It's this same sort of stereotyping that is perpetuated by budget television shows featuring low-lifes reinforcing negative associations with an accent.

It does seem like we attach a great deal of importance to how people speak and not necessarily what they. This tendency to stereotype people by accent is actually being reinforced, not reduced, by programme makers that play up to prejudices rather than tell real stories.