The obsolete route to riches

Osama bin Laden's $1million compound is probably worth more like $250,000 according to property dealer Muhammad Anwar, an expert on the local market who commented from his Abbottabad office. "This is not a posh area. We call it a middling area."

The White House probably exaggerated the value of the most-wanted's lair to create the perception that he was Livin' la Vida Loca in the lap of luxury, rather than scratching out an existence in some forsaken cave, so as to undermine his martyr status with his followers still slugging it out with our boys in Afghanistan.

And who can blame our American allies for adding a few bucks onto their valuation? If Foxtons got their greasy paws on the compound they would probably value it at way more than a million and neglect to mention the unfortunate 'incident' that occurred in the desirable, secure and south facing modern fort complex: "Don't worry about those stains, the previous owners were big claret drinkers." It's probably unfair to single out Foxtons when the whole of the property market is based on foundations of lies which, like any pyramid scheme, will start to crumble when there are no more mugs buying and prices start to drop.

This week The Daily Mail reported that average UK house prices had dropped lower than chez bin Laden to a measly £165,609, while a "Strong rebound in market remains unlikely." This is obviously unfortunate for most people who have pinned their hopes on their houses making them a mint and are now (like me) living with negative equity, however it is worth taking heart and being philosophical for a number of reasons.

Firstly, estate agents are earning less commission which has to be a good thing. Another benefit is you'll not have to listen to the incessant boasting of someone who made obscene amounts of moolah by flipping some property, because they've all gone quiet now they're barely breaking even, or losing money hand over grasping fist.

The decline in popularity of buy-to-let mortgages not only deprives landlords of their bragging rights but may lessen the negative effects on neighbourhoods caused by absentee owners who buy up housing and then leave them to deteriorate, only adding charming features like a king size mattress to the front garden.

Lastly, decreasing property prices will provide ordinary (people without rich parents) first time buyers with more of an opportunity to purchase a place.

The property Ponzi not only looms too large in all our lives, it also dominates economic thinking on a macro level. This week's decision by the Bank of England to hold interest rates at a record low of 0.5% (despite the danger of inflation) is quite probably motivated by fear of mortgage defaults. If a nation of cash-strapped borrowers can't pay back their massive mortgages the all powerful banks will start to lose value as their main assets (our debt) begins to shrink — all of which could cause 'Credit Crunch II: This Time We're Truly Screwed.'

To survive and thrive in the current market perhaps we need to switch off the endless property programmes and grow accustomed to the notion that our homes are just the places we live in rather than an easy route to riches.