Why politicians can’t do pop culture

Politics is show business for ugly people. Career politicians would never have had the time to claw a space for themselves in the Westminster rat's nest if they'd ever been able to pull. The restless energy required to stay conscious during excruciatingly dull meetings is expended elsewhere by average humans when they were having relationships and living life. This is a problem for Labour as the two top boys have never had proper jobs and are, let's be honest, slightly minging.

A poll for The Guardian back in October showed that Labour is a clear 11 points behind the Tories on the economy. The country's finances are going to hell in a handcart but the public still reckon David Cameron and George Osborne are doing a better job than the opposition could, the poll points out that: "…despite the increasing connection between coalition cutbacks and rising joblessness. The credibility gap is even greater than it was for Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling in 2009, when Mr Brown was deeply unpopular."

[Blog: How rock and politics don't mix]

Rather than employing some robust economic stratagem, it looks like the boys think the way back is to invent some personality. It's harder for Ed Miliband as he is the classic last pick at PE, sand kicked in the face, before picture whose idea of fun is probably listening to a violin concerto with a chamomile tea. The other Edward looks a bit more normal and is trying to build a personality for himself using his mentor's playbook. Remember when Gordo said he enjoyed the Arctic Monkeys but couldn't remember any of the names of the songs, well Ed recently topped that and stated that he cries during the 'Antiques Roadshow'! At least when Wills and Kate pretend to watch 'X Factor' they don't over egg it. If you saw a man breaking down during Roadshow, or even just getting a quivering lip during 'Cash in the Attic' you'd assume they were in the midst of a full-blown nervous breakdown. No wonder they're losing to two of the poshest and most contemptible politicians to ever hold office.

Pull yourself together Edward B. This week it seemed like someone, possibly the sensible-looking Mrs Yvette Cooper, reminded him that the last person to be admired for crying was Gazza and look what happened to him, so Ed tried to back pedal stating: "Some people watch the programme thinking: kerching, kerching! Other people think there's more to life than money, markets and exchange. Therefore Antiques Roadshow is an expression of socialist values…"

Seriously. That's what he said. 'Antiques Roadshow' could only be argued to represent socialist values in the way that 'Top Gear' expresses the central tenants of Nazism, vaguely. This is the sort of mess you get into when you have to invent a personality, like the time Gordo couldn't tell Mumsnet what his favourite biscuit was without a focus group. The only consolation was David Cameron answered the same question by stating "I like oatcakes with butter and cheese". They're not biscuits in the sense that you and I may know them. Luckily when Ed stays away from the popular culture references he can talk sense both on a personal level, stating that politicians shouldn't involve their children in publicity and secondly on what he knows, the economy. Balls highlights that Britain will borrow £158bn more than the government planned a year ago and has highlighted how George Osborne's plan have been a "truly colossal failure".

This is where the Ed's need to focus, the actual policy. There's no point in denying yourself a life and the resulting personality to learn politics and economics only to try and win the argument on some sort of who really deserved to win 'I'm A Celebrity'. Ramp up the economic arguments if you want to overtake a flailing government in the polls. Build a case against the cuts and make the case for long term investment in infrastructure, manufacturing and exporting.