Deborah James confesses 'I don't want to die' as Bowel Babe Fund exceeds £2m

Deborah James has confessed she is scared of dying and not seeing her children grow up.

The 40-year-old cancer campaigner and mother-of-two has raised more than £2m for charity in less than two days after telling her followers she had moved into hospice care at her parents' home, surrounded by her family.

James wrote in her column in The Sun: "I do not want to die – I can’t get my head around the idea that I will not see my kids' weddings or see them grow up – that I will no longer be a part of life that I love so much.

"I am not brave – I am not dignified going towards my death – I am simply a scared girl who is doing something she has no choice in but I know I am grateful for the life that I have had."

Watch: Lorraine talks about visiting Deborah James in hospital

Read more: Lorraine pays tribute to cancer campaigner Deborah James who is in hospice care

The You, Me & The Big C podcast host revealed she has made memory boxes for her two children and she and her husband Sebastian have bought birthday presents for future "key birthdays".

James - a regular contributor on ITV's Lorraine and This Morning - was diagnosed with incurable bowel cancer in 2016. She has set up a new fund in her name which will support Cancer Research UK, The Institute of Cancer Research (ICR), The Royal Marsden Hospital and promoting cancer awareness among younger people.

She wrote on Instagram: "I'm utterly in disbelief to wake up to see £2m in the fund!

"Thank you for you generous donations. Thank you for helping me build a future where we can show cancer who is boss.

"We have brilliant, enthusiastic talent in this country - let's support them to do the best job they can to give more people more time living."

James also told BBC News: "I'm like absolutely mind blown and I just cannot thank people enough for their generosity. Because it just means so much to me. It makes me feel utterly loved.

"It makes me feel like we're all kind of in it at the end together and we all want to make a difference."

The podcaster admitted she had beaten the odds ever since her diagnosis five years ago but revealed that her health had seen a "rapid decline" in the last week.

She revealed: "My husband and everyone in my beautiful extended family have had to carry me around, from sitting, to the bed, to the toilet – I have no ability to use my legs or arms anymore."

James thanked her followers for all their support and urged them, "Check your poo – it might just save your life."

Read more: Julia Bradbury opens up on emotional breast cancer journey in documentary

James launched the BBC Radio 5 podcast You, Me & The Big C in 2018 with fellow cancer patients Lauren Mahon and Rachael Bland.

Bland died aged 40 in 2018 after a two year battle with breast cancer.