‘I don’t know how to live’: grief over loved ones lost in Seoul’s deadly Halloween crowd crush

Kim wept as he showed the last messages from his 25-year-old daughter, one of the more than 150 victims of Saturday night’s crowd crush in Seoul.

“I thought I had no worries now because I raised all my children, but I don’t know how to live,” the 58-year-old told local media as he waited in the funeral hall of Ewha woman’s university Mokdong hospital on Sunday.

His daughter had died on his birthday.

As a gift, she had booked and paid for a luxury dinner for her parents at the Skylounge restaurant, and sent a message saying “Have a good time with mum.” They thanked her and said they had had a lovely meal.

Then came her last message: “I’m going to Itaewon to celebrate Halloween.”

Related: South Korea in mourning after deadly Itaewon crowd crush in Seoul

Kim’s story is one of many as South Korea mourns Saturday night’s disaster in which more than 150 people, mostly young adults, died when a huge Halloween party gathering crowded into the narrow alleyways of Seoul’s Itaewon district. It was the nation’s worst ever crowd crush event.

Ahn, 54, waited for six hours at Soon Chun Hyang university Seoul hospital before news of her daughter’s death came through. She told how her 20-year-old daughter had been a comfort after the loss of her husband, and had given up going to university and instead chose to live with her mother, helping make ends meet by working part-time at a hospital and restaurant.

As well as scores of locals, foreigners were also among the dead. Twenty-three-year-old Australian Grace Rached was remembered by her family as a talented film producer who was passionate about making a difference.

“We are missing our gorgeous angel Grace, who lit up the room with her infectious smile,” they said in a statement. “Grace always made others feel important and her kindness left an impression on everyone she ever met. Grace always cared about others and she was loved by all.”

Friend Silvio Cohiji, who met the film-maker at university, said she was an “amazing person”. He described her as “A beam of light that would do anything to lift the people around her and had such a huge life ahead of her, was doing amazing things in her career and travelling a lot.”

“[She] had the joy of life in her and everyone was always their happiest around her. Everyone gravitated towards her and she loved her parents and her little sister so much, she was truly a person you would be blessed to have crossed paths with.”

At the time of the crush, Rached, from Sydney, was with two other Australians who are now being treated in intensive care.

‘Like being stabbed a hundred million times’

Steve Blesi had publicly appealed for help to find his son on Sunday, after losing contact with the 20-year-old American exchange student, who was out for the evening after finishing his midterm exams. US embassy staff told Blesi of the death of his son Steven Blesi hours later.

“It was like it stabbed like a hundred million times simultaneously,” Blesi told the New York Times. “It was like your world just collapsing. It was numb and devastating all at the same time.

“He was an adventurous spirit and a loving spirit,” Blesi said. “That’s the only way I know how to describe him. And the loss is just unbearable.”

He recounted how he and his wife tried to stay positive even after their calls to Steve’s mobile phone were eventually answered by a police officer. They hoped that maybe the student at Kennesaw State University in Georgia had simply lost his phone or had it knocked out of his hand.

He voiced anger at authorities for allowing the crowds to get so big. “I see politicians out there grieving on Twitter,” he said. “It’s just, to me, publicity on their end. Whereas they should be working to try to ensure rules are in place to not allow this type of crowding to ever happen again.”

Fellow American student Anne Gieske had celebrated her birthday the day before the fatal crush in Itaewon. Dan Gieske, the father of the 20-year-old nursing student at the University of Kentucky, said the family was devastated and heartbroken at her loss.

“She was a bright light loved by all,” he said. “We ask for your prayers but also the respect of our privacy. Anne’s final gift to us was dying in the state of sanctifying grace. We know we will one day be reunited with her in God’s Kingdom.”

Her university said it was “grieving the tragic loss” of Gieske, adding: “We have been in contact with her family and will provide whatever support we can – now and in the days ahead – as they cope with this indescribable loss.

“We will be there for all those in our community who knew and loved her.”

Actor Lee Ji-han, 25, was remembered as a “bright and pure person” after his death on Saturday night. His agency, 935 entertainment, said in a statement on Sunday: “We still remember Lee, who always had a big smile and greeted people with energy. He was a bright and pure person and we cannot believe that we cannot see him any more.” His funeral will be held on Tuesday.

Friends spoke of their grief after learning of the death of Yuna Kim, a 24-year-old former cheerleader. Sharing images of her online, one friend said: “I cried for a long time. I still can’t believe it.”

The day after the deadly incident, some were still waiting for news. One couple travelled from Daejeon to Seoul after their daughter’s friends told them they had last seen her being carried away by emergency workers.

“They watched as she was carried away,” said the father. “The last message I got from our daughter was ‘Dad, I’m going to Seoul for the first time in a long time.’ She is 20 years old this year. I just hope she is alive.”