Dr Teal's Pure Epsom Salt Solution review

In a brutal world, we are surrounded by directives towards self-care.

Be nice to yourself, they say, you deserve it. But what does that look like if you’re jangling with Janxiety? What if January, with all its ‘new you, new attitude’ instructions, is making you panicked rather than inspired? I say take to your bath for some weightless me-time that asks nothing of you.

My baths run the gamut depending on mood and budget. Right now — feeling frazzled and poor — it’s Epsom salts with their magnesium-pumped, mineral-pimped, muscle-loosening, skin-softening properties. I order vast 5kg sacks from Ocado and drop in a bit of Tisserand’s eucalyptus oil (£9.49; at ocado.com) or lavender essential oil (£13; at ocado.com) to add aroma. Alternatively, Olbas Oil (£4.99; at boots.com) adds real pep. Dr Teal’s Epsom Salt comes in various iterations, from eucalyptus & spearmint to ginger & clay (both £7.99; at boots.com), if you don’t trust yourself to blend. And this stuff helps you sleep.

Speaking of sleep, Bamford has recently come up with a sinfully delicious and scandalously expensive B Silent Night-Time Bath Concentrate (£70; bamford.com) formulated with organic chamomile, lavender and vetiver root, which calms everything the hell down. Combined with its twin B Silent Organic Body Oil, £42, (which includes cannabis) it delivers as close to a snooze-inducing spa experience as my chaotic bathroom can handle.

Even the sound of a running bath calms me down. It is the beginning of self-care as I understand it. The rest? Well, it’s only bloody January. Plenty of time for that…