Eddie Murphy's 32 Funniest Lines From His SNL Days

Despite being cast on Saturday Night Live at a young age (19, to be precise), Eddie Murphy quickly became one of the sketch comedy series’ most beloved performers and was even credited with single-handedly saving the show with his uproarious characters and witty lines. Look back on and celebrate the huge impact he made on SNL in such a short time by reliving the Oscar-nominated Studio 8H veteran’s most hilarious quotes from the show.

"This Is How You Answer A Door In My Neighborhood. WHO IS IT?"

It is hard to choose just one recurring SNL sketch as Eddie Murphy’s best, but “Mister Robinson’s Neighborhood” — which imagines what Mister Rogers might be like as a morally bankrupt inner city resident — might have had the funniest dialogue. Many of the character’s best moments saw him drop the children’s TV host schtick and intimidate his visitors with a more rigid persona.

"Wookin' Pa Nub In Aw Da Wong Places..."

An all-time SNL highlight is Murphy's grown-up portrayal of The Little Rascals character, Buckwheat, who, in one sketch, tries to promote his album of cover songs, Buh-Weet Sings. One such song is "Wookin' Pa Nub," which would have been written as "Looking for Love" if not for his signature speech impediment.

"I Studied For My Role Very Carefully. I Watched Lots Of Dynasty"

In the classic pre-taped segment, "White Like Me " — arguably the SNL star’s all-time best sketch — Murphy is seen preparing to masquerade as a caucasian man by watching one of the top-rated TV shows of its time, Dynasty. He takes note of how the primetime soap opera’s characters tend to walk with very tight rear ends and says that he should remember to do the same while under his extensive makeup.

"It Still Sucks, Man"

One of the best SNL sketches featuring a musician sees Murphy playing a professional impressionist enlisted to help an aspiring Stevie Wonder impersonator, played by the Grammy winner himself. After Wonder's character seems to finally get a handle on the portrayal with a fantastic rendition of "My Cherie Amour," Murphy's character immediately condemns him with one more blatant criticism.

"C-I-L-L My Landlord!"

In a pre-taped, mockumentary-style bit called “Prose and Cons” — about incarcerated individuals who take up poetry — Murphy plays his prison's poetry festival champion, Tyrone Green, who recites his winning piece. The poem's violent content is not much to laugh at initially, but the capper, when Tyrone incorrectly spells out the word "kill," is a gut-buster

"So, I Messed Up. Shut Up!"

There are some instances when an SNL sketch that does not go as planned ends up being more iconic as a result and a prime example is Season 10's "Black History Moment." Murphy masterfully remains in character both times he flubs his speech about George Washington Carver, going so far as to scold the audience in jest for laughing at his mistakes.

"The Whole Other Team Is Run By The Mob!"

A post-game report by John Madden (as himself) from a losing football team's locker room is interrupted by a player (Murphy) who claims their defeat was orchestrated by the opposing team's true owners: the mafia. The rant is suddenly interrupted, however, when he is shot and killed.

"Can You Use This Word In A Sentence, Boys And Girls? Ransom... 'I RAN SOME Dog Out The Yard And Now I Got Him'"

It is not until later in this edition of “Mister Robinson's Neighborhood” that we realize that the dog he is seen holding at the beginning is not his. He kidnapped the cute pooch as a way to define the word of the day: “ransom.”

"HEYYYYYY! Too Hot In The Hot Tub"

It would be impossible to choose which of Murphy’s spot-on celebrity impersonations is his best, but we would not argue against anyone who ranks the Godfather of Soul at the top. Perhaps the funniest moment from “James Brown’s Celebrity Hot Tub Party” is when Murphy, as the legendary artist, finally dips his foot in the tub, only to proclaim in the song that he needs to let it cool down a bit first.

"Timing? It's Time For You To Go To The Glue Factory, Horse!"

Gumby (Murphy) has something of a bitter reunion with his old buddy, Pokey (Joe Piscopo), who cannot seem to keep up with the pace of the green piece of clay's performance. The horse insists that he has his "own sense of timing," which prompts this comically cruel comeback.

"'She Loves You' Was Originally Titled 'She Loves You, Man'..."

In one of Murphy’s most underrated SNL sketches, he plays a man named Clarence who goes on a rock ’n roll talk show claiming that not only was he an original member of The Beatles, but that he wrote most of their catalog. The original title of “She Loves You” is just one example, as “Help” was also originally called “Help Me, Man,” according to him.

"Sometimes, Too, I Be Getting Ripped Off By Little Kids, You Know? They Be Putting, Like, Tic Tacs Under Their Pillows"

Murphy appears as the Tooth Fairy on a talk show called Career Corner to explain why he has decided to give up his job. For instance, sometimes the teeth he retrieves do not turn out to be teeth at all, but mints that looked convincing enough in the dark.

"We All Alone Again Today. You Know Why? My Wife Walked Out On Me. Isn't That Nice?"

We never see Mister Robinson sharing his home with anyone else, and appears to prefer it that way. For instance, when he mentions how his former spouse left him, he seems perfectly jubilant about it.

"Just Think: $1500 A Week Without Even Leaving The Comforts Of Your Own Bedroom"

One of Murphy's most iconic recurring characters on SNL was Velvet Jones, who was in the business of helping young women earn more money than they could have ever dreamed. The solution: entering the world's oldest profession.

"If Somebody Shrunk Me From 11 Inches To Four Inches, I'd Be Pretty Upset Myself"

When Murphy returned to host SNL’s 1984 Christmas episode, he showed up on “Weekend Update” to comment on the state of children’s toys. This quote comes from his clever analysis of the drastic change in the size of G.I. Joe dolls at the time.

"I Was Just Listening To My Walkman"

Host Lily Tomlin comes to see Murphy in his dressing room while he is listening to the classic song, "Duke of Earl," on what he describes as his "Walkman." In fact, he was really being serenaded by two of the people keeping him constantly pampered, following his success with his film debut, 48 HRS.

"... I Have So Much In Common With Santa Claus: We Both Like To Sneak Into Your House Late At Night"

In a holiday edition of “Mister Robinson's Neighborhood,” Murphy's ill-behaved children's program host compares himself to Old St. Nick. However, he adds the caveat that, while Santa gives things to the families he visits, Robinson likes to take a few things for himself instead.

"[Stevie Wonder] Walked Up To Me. He Goes, 'Eddie, If You Ever Imitate Me Again, I'll Kick Your Behind.' Needless To Say, I Wasn't Afraid"

Murphy is famous for his many spot-on impersonations, especially that of Stevie Wonder, whom he once performed alongside in a hilarious sketch. We suppose their professional relationship gave the comedian the confidence to use this joke in his monologue for the first time he hosted SNL, while he was still part of the cast.

"If You Can't Understand The Difference Between Me And Your Mama And You A 'Gymocologist,' Some Woman Out There Is In Trouble"

One of Murphy and Joe Piscopo's most charming recurring character duos is bar patron Solomon and piano player Pudge, whom Solomon introduces to his nephew, Jason (Robert Guillaume) in one sketch. While Solomon cannot properly pronounce his nephew's profession, at least he knows enough about it to point out why he should easily be able to tell him and his sister apart despite their apparent common personalities.

"You Will Never See Me Again On This Show Because, Tonight, I Died From Overexposure"

As a commentary on recurring characters overstaying their welcome, Velvet Jones made his umpteenth appearance on SNL to announce it would also be his last. However, that was not the case after all as Murphy would reprise the author and entrepreneur on a “Black Jeopardy!” segment when he hosted in 2019.

"You Know, A Lot Of Boys Come To Me And They Say, 'Mister Robinson, You Play In The Park, You Talk To Your Puppets, You Sing To Us. You Don't Have No Job, Do Ya?"

In a Season 9 Edition of “Mister Robinson's Neighborhood,” the iconic Mister Rogers' parody addressed something audiences probably already knew about the character. Some sketches have dropped hits as to how Robinson has managed to fall into cash, such as selling his illegitimate child on the black market, but he still fails to pay his rent month after month.

"My God, What Happened To You Since The Verdict?"

On their first day working at Studio 8H, hairdressers Dion (Murphy) and Blair (Piscopo) believe the night's host is screen legend Paul Newman. Instead, in walks newscaster Edwin Newman, but Dion is still initially under the guise that he is in the presence of the star of the 1982 courtroom drama, The Verdict.

"A Good Education Is Just About As Important As A Warm Bucket Of Hamster Vomit"

In one bit from Season 7, Murphy addresses the "young white viewers" about how he, a high school graduate, dropped out of college, received no formal theater training, and still manages to make more in a week than most white people do in a year as one of SNL's biggest stars. Therefore, he believes that getting an education is meaningless, that life is luck, and that children should quit school and just have fun.

"Why Spend Good Money On Classes When You Can Do That For Half The Price In My Basement"

Murphy would reprise Velvet Jones on a “Black Jeopardy!” sketch from his 2019 hosting gig. When answering a question about a neighbor paying $300 for pole dancing classes, he takes that as an opportunity to sell his latest business offering.

"$46.79. Wow. That's A Lot Of Money, Boys And Girls, Especially For A Lady Who Could Only Afford To Give Me A Quarter To Carry This To Her Car"

In a “Mister Robinson’s Neighborhood” sketch about “nutrition,” Robinson talks about how much it costs to buy groceries in the early ‘80s. Of course, as he soon reveals, he never paid for the bag of food he brought to his apartment.

"How Can You Say There's Too Much... Violence On TV? There Ain't Enough"

Murphy would sometimes appear on "Weekend Update" (at a time when it was called "SNL Newsbreak") as Raheem Abdul Muhammed to comment on the state of the media. At one point, he voiced his opinion against the moral majority, believing that it made television too light and, ultimately boring.

"I Got Parts Of My Body Bigger Than Gary Coleman"

This is how Murphy replies after then NBC President Brandon Tartikoff tries to pitch the SNL star a show of his own, promising he will make him "bigger than Gary Coleman."

"There's A New Company Called 23andMe And, Because Of Them, 23 People Now Say Their Father Is Me"

When Eddie Murphy hosted SNL in 2019, he brought Mister Robinson into modern times. One way the new era had an effect on the character is how an online genetic testing center led his own long-lost son to his doorstep.

"Your Man Think You Look Good? Who Is He? Ray Charles? Stevie Wonder?"

In an oft-forgotten sketch starring Murphy and Yvonne Hudson, the two play apartment neighbors who throw a series of insults at each other after Hudson's character confronts Murphy about his loud music. After telling her she is definitely in need of some beauty sleep, she tells him that her man believes she is beautiful, leading Murphy to compare the boyfriend to two non-seeing musicians.

"All I Ever Wanted Was A Little Piece Of Property By Fire Island"

Murphy's flamboyant recurring character, Dion Dion, is with a hair client (Robin Duke) discussing her troubles with men, claiming all she ever wanted was "a piece of mine." He replies that he always desired to live near Fire Island — a real-life island in New York State that is rich in LGBTQ+ history and served as the basis of one of the best movies on Hulu, Fire Island.

"Just Because They Call It A Night Stick Don't Mean You Can't Use It In The Daytime, All Right?"

As Gumby (Murphy) is directing a movie about his life, he is shocked to learn that his wife, Delores, was able to walk on the set without being stopped. When a security guard shows up to apologize for letting her get past him, the clay humanoid instructs him to not be afraid to get rough next time.

"Keep On Laughing. Tonight, I'm Going Home Clutching The Chest Of Meryl Streep Or Jessica Lange"

Murphy plays one of three Oscar statuettes waiting to be given to one of the night's Academy Award recipients. He is initially made fun of for being the "Best Actress" award until he reminds the others that he is guaranteed a physical encounter with one of Hollywood's most esteemed and talented beauties.

Eddie Murphy’s storied career has seen its ups and downs, but his time at Studio 8H was gold from beginning to end, as these hilarious quotes will show.