The ‘Southern Charm’ Taylor and Austen Drama Is Getting Juicy

Despite my early hesitations, I’m really starting to enjoy the way this Taylor and Austen storyline (aka the poor man’s Scandoval) is starting to unfold.

Maybe it’s because this week’s episode reminded me of Winter House, with Taylor’s après-ski-themed party and the appearance of several members of the deeply chaotic Southern Hospitality, that I was so amused by tonight’s episode of Southern Charm. We’ve also reached the point where everyone and their mother in Charleston knows that something unsavory went down at Austen’s house and has made it their business. By the end of episode, we’re left on a cliffhanger of Shep interrogating Austen for the first time. Somehow, I was biting my nails even though I already knew the conclusion.

As I said, tonight’s episode revolves around Taylor’s product-placement party for these mysterious Day Chaser seltzer drinks she’s hawking. But before that, we pick up where last week’s episode left off with Olivia crying in her car after Taylor revealed that she and Austen considered getting together. And she vents to Leva with a shaky voice as if she just encountered an alien. To be honest, I was expecting Olivia to be more performatively shook than actually shook. But she seems genuinely unsettled by this news and spends this whole episode rubbing the sides of her neck as if to prevent an anxiety attack.

Meanwhile, Taylor calls up Austen to tell him how everything went. She’s both bewildered and disappointed that Olivia didn’t want to hear that she was acting out Romeo and Juliet with Austen while Olivia was waiting for him to claim her. On the other end, Austen is complaining about how he “always gets blamed” for everything, as if he isn’t the person at the center of the crime. We also just watched him emotionally torment two other women on Summer and Winter House, sneak off into the dead of the night, and avoid all the blame for their fallout. It looks like he’s trying a similar strategy here by ditching Taylor’s event and allowing her to face-off with Olivia by herself. (Thankfully, no wine glasses are thrown.)

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You know we’re in for a good episode when the majority of it takes place at a party, and it isn’t just saved for a climactic ending. It isn’t that anything particularly wild goes down at this “work” event, but there’s something about watching the cast eagerly eat up this gossip before shit hits the fan that’s exhilarating. Meanwhile, the producers make Austen go to Whityey’s (and Patricia’s ) house for charcuterie and a concerning amount of alcohol.

If I turned on my TV in the middle of this party, I would think I was watching an episode of Winter House. Everyone is decked out in their best ski-wear except for Craig who’s wearing a giant spotted fur coat that I feel like Paige forced him to buy. (While he looks insane, I unfortunately have never been more attracted to him.) Everyone is either gossiping about Taylor and Austen or slurping Day Chaser through an ice sculpture.

When Olivia arrives she tells Taylor that she “just came to support,” which Real Housewives love to say when they’re beefing with someone holding an event but still want screentime. They share a stiff hug and go back to their separate corners. Shep also tries to have his own confrontation with Taylor. First, he calls her a hypocrite for attacking him for sleeping with women so quickly after they broke up. (Cut to the reunion clip of Taylor screaming at Shep that we have to see every episode.) Then he asks how she could possibly consider dating Austen after they made fun of him all the time together. I don’t really think Shep wants this on the record when he accuses Austen of being a terrible friend, but the rules of “bro code” defy any logic.

Before the two get into a full screaming match, wet-blanket Leva reminds Taylor that she’s at work. (Um, she’s also working on a reality show, Leva!)

Back at Whitney’s house, Whitney and Austen each have about three different glasses of various wines in front of them. They’re the level of wasted when you start FaceTime-ing people like it’s the funniest thing in the world. So they call Craig to invite him, Shep, and Madison over presumably so Austen and Shep will have a huge, drunken blow-up. Venita overhears them and asks if it’s an open invite, to which Whitney rudely but unsurprisingly says no. This is just another reminder about how divided this cast is and how the show’s boy’s club will always prevent any sort of real integration with the newbies!

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So they all go over to Whitney’s house, and Shep and Austen immediately sit down to address the elephant in the room. Shep asks if he is seriously considering dating Taylor, and Austen starts to talk in circles. Shep tells him that he’s being too vague and asks Austen straight-up if would tell him if he hooked up with Taylor. If it wasn’t already clear that Austen is trying to hide something, he responds, “define hooked up.”

Finally, we get a proper “To Be Continued…” with some actual suspense. And I hope to see some drunk roughhouse-ing when we return next. If not, we’ll probably just watch Shep and Austen poorly throw insults at one another, which is always funny enough on its own. Either way, I’ll have my popcorn ready.

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