The Ickiest Moments In Blockbuster Movie History

Even classic Hollywood movies contain scenes or lines that stop you in your tracks and make you wonder how on Earth they got through the censors. These are the 10 most questionable, age-rating-defying, troublesome, just-plain-icky moments from some of your favourite movies…

‘Howard The Duck’ – duck sex

It’s as if George Lucas was trying to win a bet – what was the worst comic-book character he could adapt into a film, and what would people least like to see in it? The answer was 'Howard: A New Breed Of Hero’, and Howard the Duck having sex with a lady. Said lucky lady was Lea Thompson, she of the mother-son combo from 'Back To The Future’, completing her 80s double-header of weird movie romances. The lovemaking between the chick and the Duck was not explicit, but silhouettes were seen to be romping, leaving no doubt in the viewer’s now psychologically damaged mind what was going on.

'Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back’ – Luke and Leia kiss

Okay, so you can argue that at the time of their rebellious smooch – orchestrated entirely to make Han Solo well jel – Luke and Leia Skywalker had no idea they were siblings. There’s no wrongdoing on their part in this whole charade (at least, until 'Return Of The Jedi’, when Leia admits “Somehow I’ve always known”), it was just a classic case of intergalactic Jerry Springer-esque paternity shenanigans. Except, of course, that George Lucas claimed to have the entire trilogy – and beyond – mapped out in his head from the start, meaning when he wrote the script, he probably knew Luke and Leia were bro and sis.

'Back To The Future’ – Incest LOLs

To Robert Zemeckis’ credit, not many directors could take incest and use it for comedy purposes. 'Back To The Future’ is one of the most ingeniously plotted movies ever made, but it all hangs on one assumption – that we, the audience, find the idea of Marty McFly’s mother trying to seduce her own son hilarious. We chuckle when she checks out his Calvin Kleins. We laughed when she calls Marty a “dreamboat”. We winced a little when Marty’s mom plants a huge great smacker on her son’s lips. This… isn’t okay, is it? This is, very definitely, a big bowl of wrong.

'Ghostbusters’ – Ray gets pleasured by a ghost

Who knows what Dan Aykroyd’s overall contribution to the script for 'Ghostbusters’ was, but we can definitely see him pitching this none-more-icky scene in the writers’ room. “So then the ghost pulls Ray’s trousers down, and though we don’t see anything, Ray goes cross-eyed, making it clear he’s getting some supernatural action in the downstairs department. Sounds fun, huh?” What’s weirder – that there was ever an oral sex joke in a PG movie, or the MPAA allowed it through uncut? You can imagine the crude gags that must have been excised after the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man covered the town in white goo.

'Raiders Of The Lost Ark’ – Indiana Jones seduces young Marion

When Professor Henry Jones Jr and Marion Ravenwood meet in 'Raiders Of The Lost Ark’, they already have a shared history, their relationship only hinted at. However, those hints don’t exactly paint Indy in the best light, making him out to be a different kind of raider, if you know what we mean. Says Marion of their first romance: “I was a child! I was in love! It was wrong and you know it!” Replies a gruff Indy: “You knew what you were doing.” Translation: 'She looked old enough, Your Honour.’

'Transformers: Age Of Extinction’ – Statutory rape workaround

It goes to show just how badly written the 'Transformers’ movies are that it managed to cause a furore regarding its depiction of statutory rape laws – that’s right, a movie that’s ostensibly about magic alien robots from outer space managed to get stuck in a mire regarding its depiction of the age of consent. Mark Wahlberg’s 17-year-old daughter has a 20-year-old boyfriend who carries around laminated documentation of a Texas statute that legally allows him to have sex with a minor. Did this absolutely positively have to be in a movie about magic alien robots from outer space? Doesn’t feel like a dealbreaker, guys.

'The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button’ – Love throughout the ages

Look up the dictionary definition of the word 'problematic’ and you’ll see a little picture of tiny old man Brad Pitt in his CG makeup, perving over the little girl he’s fallen in love with. David Fincher likes his movies dark and edgy but even his biggest fans found it hard to sign off on this twisted romance, in which a man aged backwards from birth. Not a problem in and of itself, but apply the romance angle with Cate Blanchett, and aside from the standard middle section when the pair are the same age, the whole movie is a powderkeg of troubling images, including but not limited to: Pitt as a (young) old man, falling in love with Blanchett as a young girl; and Blanchett as a old woman, cradling the baby who she’d spent a lifetime loving. Cute? Kinda. Creepy? Hella.

'Twilight’ – Bella and Edward’s entire relationship

Even when you remove the bad acting, terrible writing and incredibly irresponsible themes from the 'Twilight’ movies, they remain monuments to ick. Take Edward’s courtship of Bella. Take the 108-year-old Edward’s courtship of 17-year-old Bella? Not so romantic now, is it? Edward is basically a geriatric pervert who hangs around the Forks school gates until he finds a teenager naïve and stupid and passive enough to let him make out with her. Then there’s the threat he poses to Bella – push for sex or even just a kiss and his killer bloodlust could be the end of her. What a solid foundation for love!

'Labyrinth’ – David Bowie’s gigantic crotch bulge

You can imagine Bowie swinging into the costume fitting the week before 'Labyrinth’ started filming. “I like it,” he’d say to the Henson Workshop costume fitter, “it’s bold and conceptual and challenging… but I wonder if it couldn’t be more terrifying in the crotch department?” And thus, Jareth the Goblin King sprung into action wearing tight grey trousers and a giant angry codpiece, that – if the movie were shot in 3D – would have the first few rows of the cinema audience ducking for cover. And that’s before you wade into the murky waters of what he wanted with 14-year-old Jennifer Connelly. Dial 1111 and ask for Childline.

'Skyfall’ – Bond’s surprise shower sex

James Bond is the only man in the world who plays 'Shag, Marry, Kill’ for real. The words 'Bond’ and 'troublesome sex’ go together hand in hand like 'former Radio 1 DJ’ and 'police investigations’. Connery was more of a wham-bam thank you maam kind of lover while Roger Moore was like a sleazy uncle, bedding girls a quarter of his age, but even metrosexual Bond Daniel Craig got into trouble in 'Skyfall’ when he smarmed his way into the shower with sex trafficking victim Bérénice Marlohe. Her: vulnerable and damaged. Him: horny, I guess? Together, they make queasy love in the shower but the dirt never quite felt like it washed off afterwards.

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