Money Confidential with Katie Morley: ‘My grown-up daughter has moved back in – so I’m moving out’

Free rent, washing done by Mum, and the Disney Plus channel on tap. For many this sounds like a dream domestic set-up, but for Mark (not his real name), providing this for his adult daughter and her brood has somewhat backfired.

Mark told me he thought his daughter moving home was going to be a temporary arrangement, and that paying rent and bills was agreed upfront. However, fast forward several months and his ground rules have fallen by the wayside, and there’s no sign of them moving out. He says it’s so cushy there they don’t want to leave.

Mark’s so fed-up with his daily life at home that he’s decided to permanently move out and travel hundreds of miles every few weeks to visit them. A drastic solution, some might say, but Mark seems remarkably cheery about it. On a cold and rainy day in March, I visited him in his soon-to-be bachelor pad in south London, where he showed me around. 

Hear the full story in Mark’s own words on Katie Morley’s new podcast: Money Confidential.

There seemed to be a mixture of joy and sadness over the move. Mark was quick to point out how excited he was to get a new car, read books and go boozing with his old mates but described how his family viewed him as a “grumpy old man”, despite him paying all the bills in the Devon house.

Mark told me he’s from a generation of people who have a different mentality to the younger, “snowflake” generation. He worked his way up from nothing to earn a six-figure salary in his prime years, and says he “would have gone to war for this country”. He doesn’t seem to think most younger people would, though.

That said, he admits he may have created a rod for his own back over his daughter’s attitude to money, as she has always known Mum and Dad will be there to pick up the pieces if things go wrong. Things haven’t always been easy financially with three children to pay for, and she’s struggled with debt for a long time.

However, Mark now feels he may have done enough now and says he is looking forward to “going SKI-ing” (Spending the Kids’ Inheritance) on the things he has always wanted to do. He longs for his daughter to financially stand on her own two feet, but isn’t sure how to make this happen at this stage. It feels late in the day, as she’s already middle-aged.

You can listen to Mark’s story in full on the first episode of my new weekly podcast, Money Confidential, which is now available to listen to on Spotify and Apple or at the top of this page.

Released every Wednesday, Money Confidential is a place for you to share the everyday money problems which are affecting your life and relationships. Those who come on will receive expert guidance and discuss tangible solutions with experts in their field, as well as Telegraph columnists offering their tuppence.

This week we are tackling the issue of adult children living at home; a growing phenomenon due to the soaring cost of housing, with one in five households now including an adult child.

It can work brilliantly for some families, but for others like Mark, it can cause toe-curling financial disagreements.

On the episode we also hear from financial adviser Lisa Conway Hughes, who provides practical tips to not only Mark and his daughter, but anyone facing difficult money conversations as a result of being part of a multi-generational household.

We are also joined by Telegraph columnist Micheal Deacon, who has approved a rather unconventional method of getting adult children to leave home...

What do you think? Would you move back in with your parents or in-laws, or let your adult children live at home? And what do you think of Mark’s situation? Do you have any pearls of wisdom for him?

Send me an email or a voice note to moneyconfidential@telegraph.co.uk with your thoughts.

Next week we’ll be discussing the topic of financial jealousy as I visit a lady who’s struggling with her wealthier siblings going skiing and leaving her out. And I discover that there may be another problem brewing beneath the surface...

On this episode I’ll be joined by money psychotherapist Vicky Reynal, who’ll provide her expert input, as well as an expert in ADHD and money management, plus Telegraph columnist Celia Walden.

And in more episodes coming soon, we’ll hear from a young mum agonising over whether private school will be worth the huge financial sacrifice, as well as a businesswoman who confesses how earning her first million pounds made her miserable.

And finally, I am looking for people to appear on future episodes, so if you’ve got something to get off your chest or you need some advice, send me your money dilemma by filling in my contact form below.

You can listen to the first episode here, and if you like what you hear, you can follow along here to be alerted to future episodes.