Rihanna may have turned 30 but she still can't wink
There are three things you need to know about Queen of Pop Rihanna.
Firstly, she’s clearly a talented, popular, and appealing artist, having sold in excess of 200 million records since emerging in 2005.
Second, today (20 February) is her 30th birthday which, to anyone who has passed this milestone will confirm is a pretty big deal.
Thirdly, and this is an extremely important fact everyone should know about the singing sensation: she can’t wink.
It’s true, as her inability to close one eye and keep the other open was exposed on Twitter 18 months ago, there’s been no new evidence to suggest she’s learned how.
So allow us to transport you back to the summer of 2016, where an innocuous tweet about how ‘Rihanna can’t wink’ blew up into one of the biggest memes since Charlie bit his brother’s finger.
It won’t surprise you to learn this initial, seemingly harmless tweet went on to amass 22,000 retweets and favourites in its 18-month life.
Rihanna can't wink: A mini thread
— Call Me By My @ (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
For anyone unfamiliar with this epic thread, you may be skeptical over its claim – and you’d certainly be wrong.
It begins with some pretty hard evidence that the Wild Thoughts singer struggles with the concept of a wink.
No that's two eyes Robyn pic.twitter.com/nIDRMLK4J6
— Call Me By My @ (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
This one doesn’t even feel like she’s trying. Come on, Rihanna, at least pretend to put some effort in.
It started with such hope but nope, that's a blink pic.twitter.com/GzwwcjyaPz
— Call Me By My @ (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
She almost tricks us on this occasion, but no.
This looks like a wink but on closer inspection… nope, blink pic.twitter.com/pOwy2hxl48
— Call Me By My @ (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
Not even working with Shakira can teach her the ways of the wink, which makes us sad.
Y'all think she winking but she's goddamn blinking fgs rih pic.twitter.com/dxWevnJOHa
— Call Me By My @ (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
Clearly we agree with the sentiment below; we just wish she could wink – is it really that much to ask?
So yeah, she's a queen in life but Robyn Rihanna Fenty can't wink. Who knew?
FIN.
— Call Me By My @ (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
But there’s more. This time she must feel like she’s finally done it! Alas, not quite.
For everybody telling me this is her winking HER OTHER GODDAMN EYE IS HALF CLOSING TOO pic.twitter.com/5qofnjdhw2
— Call Me By My @ (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
But if Ben’s sterling collection wasn’t enough (and there are a couple more if you click on the full thread), people even started adding to it.
I mean you forgot the best one lol @NotAgainBen pic.twitter.com/9WTe3il5C8
— #rihanna30 ; (@ChannyyXOXO) August 26, 2016
And the poor girl was exposed as not being able to whistle, either.
AND SHE CAN'T WHISTLE EITHER. Her reaction = priceless <3 <3 https://t.co/o4297Cgfho
— Lucy M. (@TheMucy) August 26, 2016
So, what we’re trying to say is happy 30th, RiRi, and that no one’s perfect.
And as unlikely as it may be, we hope someone teaches you how to do it in your 30s so you may go forth and winks away.
Have you ever seen Rihanna wink (rather than close both eyes and open one slower than the other)? Let us know.
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